You get nothing! You lose! Willy Wonka “experience” a viral disaster

Last Updated on March 5, 2024

We know that the world of Willy Wonka is one of “pure imagination”, but this is ridiculous! A supposed Willy Wonka experience in Scotland is getting worse reviews than the chocolatier’s actual child-killing factory, going viral as a disaster that calls to mind the cheese sandwiches at Fyre Fest.

Check out the website’s official description and some pictures from the Willy Wonka event below:

“Dive into the whimsical of Willy’s Chocolate Experience!, a place where chocolate dreams become reality. Book your adventure now and embark on a journey filled with wondrous creations and enchanting surprises at every turn!” This was not the case…actually, I’m not even sure there were even turns!

As you can see in the promo, the Willy Wonka experience promised a lot that they just didn’t deliver on. And we’re not just talking about chocolate, but “catgacating”, “cartchy tuns” and even “exarserdray lollipops.” And yet not one instance of catgacating was found!

That might seem like gibberish, but it might actually be the result of artificial intelligence, meaning it’s possible that an actual human being lost out on work because of that “writing”. Paul Connell, the comedian and actor who was cast as Willy Wonka recounted his nightmare, saying, “The script was 15 pages of AI-generated gibberish of me just monologuing these mad things…The bit that got me was where I had to say [regarding a fictional villain], ‘There is a man we don’t know his name. We know him as the Unknown. This Unknown is an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls.’…They even misspelled my contract but I do have a legally binding ‘Coontract [sic]’. But I stayed up all night learning it thinking this would make sense in the dress rehearsal when I see all the tech.” Taking a look at some of these pictures, “tech” might be short of “technicality.”

According to The New York Times, treats promised to the little ones were anything but, with one attendee saying his “children got two jelly beans each…And then they got a half a cup of lemonade.” He added that there were a handful of chairs for people to sit in and a “half-inflated bouncy castle.” 

The event was held in Glasgow in a location called the Box Hub Warehouse, one Google review for which showcases a shoe sale. No, tickets are not refundable.