I’m Jewish, so I’ve never really celebrated Christmas before. I’ve envied all you present openers for years, because while you enjoy quality time with your family and get shiny new things, I watch reruns of Baywatch and crank call my ex-girlfriend. Well this year the joke’s on you. Sony Pictures Classics will release Michael Haneke’s Palme D’Or winner WHITE RIBBON on Christmas Day. So while you and your loved ones are playing with your brand new pogo sticks and eating cream-filled ginger snaps, I’ll be alone, in a darkened theatre watching a desolate film shot in black and white about strange events that happen in a rural German school on the eve of World War One. Merry Christmas to me!