Watching Twilight can be hazardous to your health

People have been complaining about the TWILIGHT franchise for years now but mostly the complaints have been that the movies aren’t very good or they’re watering down the vampire genre or “these TWILIGHT girls stole my seat at Comic-Con”… But now it looks like the franchise has ushered in a new era of evil: murder.

Reports out of New Zealand say that a 23-year-old man died unexpectedly and mysteriously during a Sunday night screening of ECLIPSE. The man was found by theater staff after the movie was over, slump forward in his seat with no apparent injuries. Emergency personnel attempted to resuscitate him but no such luck. TWILIGHT had killed him.

Now of course there is no connection between the man watching TWILIGHT and dying (he was described as a “transient” and we all know that transients don’t exactly live the healthiest lifestyles) but I think it’s just too much of a coincidence and for the time being we should all play it safe and go see another movie instead. No, not THE LAST AIRBENDER. That could very well have the same effect.