I love Dario Argento, but it is becoming damn near impossible to defend the once great filmmaker after seeing the awfulness that is DRACULA 3D. Granted, Argento has been on a steep decline over the last fifteen years and has never matched the greatness of his movies SUSPIRIA, DEEP RED, PHENOMENA, INFERNO, and THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE. All of those movies are essentials for fans of the giallo sub-genre and horror aficionados. But, since then, he has released pretty crappy movies like GIALLO, THE CARD PLAYER, and SLEEPLESS. You would think adapting DRACULA would have made for at least an enjoyable project like his version of THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.
But, no. DRACULA 3D looks really f*cking bad. I mean we are talking Uwe Boll levels of crap here. The quality of the footage looks like it was recorded on a cellphone while the sets are porn level at best. Everything about DRACULA 3D screams cheap and not even the presence of his daughter Asia Argento and the great Rutger Hauer can save this project. Not even the friggin plot is the same as the Bram Stoker novel as Argento is attempting a “sexy spin” on the classic story. That doesn’t sound like a porn at all.
Casting Thomas Kretschmann as the Count is a nice choice, but even he seems hopelessly stuck with nowhere to take his performance. DRACULA 3D premiered out of competition at the Cannes Film Festival this year and the critics were not very forgiving. You can give the latest Argento movie a shot when it hits screen on October 4th, but I would save my money if I were you.