Categories: JoBlo Originals

TV Review: This Week on Game of Thrones (S5 Episode 6/ May 17, 2015)

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EPISODE 6: Unbowed,Unbent,Unbroken

THE PLOT : The long summer is at an end, winter truly is coming and with it the cold winds of war as five self proclaimed Kings claim dominance over Westeros, but there can be only one winner when you play the game of thrones.

THE LOWDOWN: (The following column contains MAJOR SPOILERS, so I don’t recommend reading this if you haven’t watched this episode). I’ve been looking forward to Arya actually getting somewhere on her road to revenge, and as this season began, I hoped this would happen in Braavos. The season isn’t quite over (almost), but I still find myself wondering what the hell’s going on in the House of Black and White. Sure, tonight we finally see something happen (other than people drinking water and washing dead folk), but it’s leading me to believe that whatever does happen there, will end up being a cliffhanger leading to next season. Don’t get me wrong, I liked story time with the little girl (a little morbid, but I’m good), and the many-faced pillar dungeon was a slick touch, but I need more substance from Arya’s story before season’s end or I’ll end up disappointed and I don’t want to be disappointed.

Just when you think poor Jorah’s hit rock bottom, another steaming nugget of crap comes whistling his way. First the Stone men, then he hears about his dad, and now slavers (nice to see Mr. Eko from LOST). Thank Christ Tyrion is a silver tongued God amongst men, or Jorah would be off to the salt mine and Tyrion’s favorite toy would be on sale at the local Cock Merchant’s store. That’s one title (and overall conversation) I never thought I’d hear. Speaking of having one’s cock on the block, Jamie and Bronn’s little incursion didn’t go so well. I have no idea how they thought it would play out, or how the Sand Snakes thought their plan would play out, but both parties seemingly underestimated the situation and doubt the Price will find any of it amusing. Hopefully there’s no Cock Merchants in Dorne.

Any episode featuring Granny Tyrell is aces in my book, I adore that character. Her back and forth with Cersei was fantastic, if for no other reason, because no one has ever talked to Cercei that way besides Tyrion. The High Sparrow and his cronies are going for the jugular with everything but the kitchen sink. It almost feels like Littlefinger’s friend was planted by Cercei in the first place. Not likely, more like dude knows his ass is on the line if he doesn’t do what she wants. What a move though, Cercei’s cleaning house, but that’s no broom she’s waving, it’s the guillotine. Granny and the Queen should have got the hell out of dodge, grabbed their army, and THEN came back to visit. By the looks of things, I don’t think they’ll get another chance.

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 5’s sixth episode is rapidly closing the breach on small talk and bringing out the big guns. We close out the evening with yet another wedding…another dark wedding—seriously though, is there any other kind on this show? Sansa’s come a long way, and I loved how she bared her teeth at bath time, putting that chick in her place, but back in Ramsay’s room was another story. And not a good one. I truly hate the awkward, forced sex scenes, they really do walk a fine line. For a second there, when her back was turned, I thought she was hiding a dagger in the sleeve of her dress. What a welcome surprise that would have been. Stupid, no doubt, but entertaining. Keeping Theon around to watch was creepy as hell, but I’m hoping he’s almost at his breaking point with Ramsay, and that he’ll turn on him and save Sansa. It would redeem his character in my eyes, and let’s be honest, it would just be great to see Theon actually do something other than lick the guy’s boots. Here’s hoping.

SEX/NUDITY: Slim pickings since The High Sparrow shut down poon town, but there’s lots of talk about dude sex, and then there’s Sansa’s unfortunate wedding gift. Rough night.

VIOLENCE: The Slavers rough Jorah and Tyrion up, there’s some tame (disappointing) fighting between Jaime, Bronn and the Sand Snakes, and Arya gets slapped around with a stick.

MOST EPIC SCENE: Littlefinger wheeling and dealing. I mean seriously, there’s no end to that guy’s ambition and I absolutely love it. His plan to overthrow whomever wins in Winterfell, whilst playing all sides simultaneously? Genius. Sometimes I wonder if he’ll end up on the Iron Throne.

FINAL VERDICT :

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J.A. Hamilton