Last Updated on August 2, 2021
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EPISODE 2: Home
THE PLOT : The long summer is at an end, winter truly is coming and with it the cold winds of war as five self proclaimed Kings claim dominance over Westeros, but there can be only one winner when you play the game of thrones.
THE LOWDOWN: (The following column contains MAJOR SPOILERS, so I don’t recommend reading this if you haven’t watched this episode). Episode one was a bit of a slow burn, and opening couple moves on the chess board, but tonight kicked everything into high gear baby! JON SNOW IS ALIVE BITCHES! It’s funny, everyone attached to the show’s been all like ‘Jon Snow’s dead, dumbasses, you saw it yourself’, but the second I heard they weren’t giving out screeners this year, I knew that had to be the reason. Nobody wanted the grand reveal spoiled, and let’s be honest, it would’ve been so good on you team HBO. I was on eggshells the whole time though, there’s that tiny voice in my head saying ‘what if he really is dead’, well that voice can f*ck off, because my favorite character is back and shit’s about to get wild!
Okay (deep breath), now that THAT’s covered, let’s get into the rest of the episode, because lots more went down. Let’s start with King’s Landing. First, I loved Franken-mountain smashing dude’s skull in for telling the wrong story, I laughed for about five minutes. You f*ck with Cersei, he kills you. You talk about Cersei, he kills you. You breathe inappropriately, he kills you. Best. Bodyguard. Ever. We got another Cersei in mourning scene with Tommen, and I didn’t mind it, because again, the tears are about gone and rage will follow. Enough rage to burn down the joint, I’m sure. That’s when things are going to get interesting. Of course, Jaime’s conversation with The High Sparrow was entertaining as well. I knew he wouldn’t kill him, not right now, but his days are numbered and Jaime certainly let him know as much. Looking forward to that little weasel Lancel getting his face crushed too.
No Dany tonight, but Tyrion sure had his moment to shine with the dragons. I loved the (you got THIS, Tyrion) look on Varys’ face as he stood by the entrance. Can’t say I blame him. Sansa shared a moment of revelation with Brienne, and Theon decides to go home (that ought to be good). Aria gets the shit beat out of her (again), but thank Christ Jaqen H’ghar finally shows up to end all that nonsense. And speaking of people showing up at the right time, Tormund and the wildlings show up just in time to help Davos protect Jon’s body. That was a great scene too, mainly because I really like Tormund, he’s a cool character and I’m pumped to see him and Jon Snow fighting side by side again.
GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6’s second episode gave a great character back to us, but they took some key players in the process. Roose Bolton (who I’m not shedding any tears over) getting shanked by Ramsay isn’t something I saw coming, but it sure as hell doesn’t surprise me either. But damn, bro, feeding the baby and her mother to the dogs? You cold as ice. I’m calling it right now, Jon vs. Ramsay, make that shit happen! Meanwhile, Theon’s dad gets thrown off the ricketiest bridge I’ve ever seen (seriously, I wouldn’t set foot on that damn thing on the brightest day, let alone in a damn storm) by his brother, implying that there’s still big things coming out of the Iron Islands at some point. Lastly, we welcome Bran back (yay…sort of). Although the flashback was cool and all, like Meera said, they gots to get out of that cave. I won’t harp on him too much though, because that clip from the trailer with him and white walker king looks hella badass.
SEX/NUDITY: No crusty old witches tonight, you sick bastards.
VIOLENCE: The violence itself was sparse (but good), but the promise of great violence is definitely in the air. That said, we got some stabbing, bridge tossing and a fantastic face crush.
MOST EPIC SCENE: JON SNOW, JON SNOW, JON SNOW. Yes, I’m still very excited.
FINAL VERDICT :
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