This week let’s take a look at a pop-culture mash-up that I for one would pay good money to see. We’ll take some favorite horror baddies and look seriously at how they would fare on the CBS juggernaut known as SURVIVOR. Hell, this list could take care of a number of VS. movies and a Celebrity Survivor all in one fell swoop.
So check out the list, then Spit Bullets on who you think should be on the island, and who would be the top mad dog.
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE
WARNING – NEVERMIND, NO WARNING NEEDED!
5. Jason Voorhees, FRIDAY THE 13TH Occupation: Population Control Specialist; Luxury Item: Hockey Mask
It was a dead heat whether to bring Myers or Voorhees into the mix. They essentially play the same type, and you know that show isn’t going to double cast. Ultimately it came down to a coin flip, much as I assume some of the final SURVIVOR casting does in real life. Once in the mix, Jason plays the dumb athlete role, dominating challenges with his strength and surprising speed. But that makes him a constant threat to win immunity, so as soon as he fails at the
puzzle challenge, his cast mates take the opportunity to end his run.
4. Amanda, SAW Occupation: Apprentice Life Coach; Luxury Item: Zinc Oxide
A couple of important aspects to Amanda’s inclusion on the list. Most important is that every cast needs some eye candy, and this lassie would rock a bikini well. Plus we know Jigsaw is always planning ahead, so he’d obviously make sure that since he couldn’t win, he’d have somebody doing his bidding as the game got down to it. Poor Amanda’s downfall, though, is that she’s just not the real deal. Her exit interview will no doubt be the most entertaining meltdown of the season.
3. Predator, PREDATOR Occupation: Sportsman; Luxury Item: Soul Glo
Even without all his toys, any Predator worth his trophy collection is made for a competition like Survivor. Tough, smart, totally into wilderness throw downs and what not. If not for the fact that the dreaded dreadlocked one has gotten a little soft over the years from the whole invisibility thing, he’d probably take this down. But alas a disappointing third is where he ends up.
2. Leatherface, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE Occupation: Butcher; Luxury Item: “Remember the Alamo” duvet
Athletic? Check. Dumb and easily manipulated? Check. Willing to eat anything? Check. Leatherface is the perfect guy to take with you to the finals. He’s unflinchingly loyal, extremely useful in challenges, and absolutely no threat to win the whole thing. Because who’s going to vote for a pawn to be king? Nobody.
1. Hannibal Lecter, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS Occupation: Psychiatrist; Luxury Item: Loofah
Has there ever been a character that was more perfectly created to play SURVIVOR? I don’t think so. Lecter is smarter than anybody, tougher than anybody, and as violent as you please. I mean Richard Hatch managed to control the game just by being naked and lazy. You wanna tell me Lecter wouldn’t own the whole f*cking island? As a bonus, he could eat Jeff Probst on the final episode.
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE
Got a Top 10 idea? Hit me up at mattwithers@joblo.com