I think Catherine Hardwicke is a great director with a really interesting porno last name, so congrats to her for the overwhelming success she had last weekend. And that’s the only positive f*cking thing I’m going to give out for the twinky tweener Twilight fans who have now cursed the rest of us with a guarantee that the next three years will see this kind of pseudo-horror, romance-lite, goth-y bullshite get greenlit like overtalky crime dramas in the 90’s.
Whew! Had to get that out.
Now let’s take a look at some of the best vampire flicks that Hollywood has graced our eyeballs with, so that you can maybe use the T-word for good and use someone’s freshly born interest in our beloved genre to introduce them to some seriously great blood sucking.
Whether you love the picks, or they make you want to say “Bite me!”, spit ‘dem bullets below!
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE
WARNING – REAL VAMP GOODNESS BELOW!
5. FRIGHT NIGHT
Chris Sarandon manages to own in this horrorcom that somehow takes a lot of the vampire conventions that Lugosi helped establish and makes them work while also making fun of them. The whole idea of a vamp in your neighborhood that you know about, but nobody believes you, because vamps don’t exist, is good times for all.
4. UNDERWORLD
Let’s be clear. Kate Beckinsale in leather is plenty on it’s own to be worthy of a place on this list. And then you add in motherf*cking werewolves. Are you serious! Awesome. On top of that the script was a helluva lot deeper than expected with downright Shakespearian tones to it. I’ve rarely come out of a movie wanting to see a sequel so badly.
3. THE LOST BOYS
Did anybody else forget that this particular bloodsucker was directed by Joel Schumacher? Well done dude! We may all love Kiefer as Jack Bauer these days, but back in the day he couldn’t play anybody that wasn’t dark and villainous. Add in a great soundtrack, some Jason Patric, a little Jamie Gertz, and The Coreys, well damn it all if you don’t have a great time coming atcha live!
2. VAMP
Here we return to the horror comedy concept, which is almost always dicey. However, in this case the comedy is funny, and the horror is legitimately scary at times. Oddly it helps having Grace Jones as the lead vampire, because she’s weird enough that it helps make the whole concept seem reasonable in a way. Plus you get the important lesson that formica is a dangerous business when it comes to night crawlers.
1. NEAR DARK
This dusty badass is so full of cinematic awesomeness that it’s hard to know where to start. Well that’s not true. Start with the bar scene. You know the one. At least if you don’t then go buy the damn DVD right now! Vampire films almost always bring plenty of atmosphere, but what they often lack, and Near Dark provides in spades, is context and heart. The moral complexities of this particular lifestyle were never explored in quite so perfect a manner.
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE
Got a Top 10 idea? Hit me up at mattwithers@joblo.com