Gotta give it up to AITH reader James Ramsay for this week’s awesome idea. There’s plenty of beasties, bad guys and beauties in the horror universe that are happy to separate peeps from their mortal coil, but a fun and unique subsection are those psychos that are just plain adorable.
They run the gamut from furry creatures to animated pastry, but one thing remains consistent. All that wanting to be closer to these suckers will get you is dead.
So throw on some Weezer, grab your best emo wear, and get ready to mix death with a great big “Awwwwww.” Of course that doesn’t mean you should take it easy on spitting those bullets below!
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE WARNING – PROOF THAT SWEET DOESN’T MEAN SAFE AHEAD! 5. Tooth Fairies, HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY Has the first volley of an evil scheme to destroy the world ever come in a cuter carrier? Especially given that Guillermo did his usual tweak of a well-known myth, making it scarier and meaner than anyone had ever thought to make it. How can you not want to snuggle one of those suckers, that is until you realize they could easily chew your balls to shreds.
4. Damien Thorn, THE OMEN Charismatic. Innocent. Loving. Spawn of the devil. Plus he does glower a bit more than the average tyke. Oh, and there is the issue of that birthmark. What a kid. I mean, if Gregory Peck can’t find it within himself to do what needs to be done, what possible chance would we mere mortals have. None I tell ya. None.
3. Grizzly Teddy, DEMONIC TOYS I love this sucker because he starts out looking like Teddy Ruxpin and ends up turning into one bloodthirsty, badazz papa bear. I get an unreasonable amount of joy watching a teddy bear end people’s lives. It just seems to serve ’em right for turning such a dangerous and magnificent creature into a cuddly widdle toy.
2. Gremlins, GREMLINS Start with Gizmo. End up with Stripe. Personally I’d love to see the Giz go through that grand change of life too, but that’s probably asking too much for his fans to forgive. Fortunately both movies in this series let us see a steadily escalating number of Mogwai’s go bad, and rein holy hell all over anything they can get their long leathery fingers on.
1. Gage Creed, PET SEMATARY To this day when I see this kid I want to grab my Achilles tendon for protection. It’s hard to imagine any kid so damn squeezable who could possibly be so devastating with the killing. But here it is for all to see, enjoy, and most likely cringe from. A perfect marriage of menace and cuteness. I don’t agree with those who think it’s a great movie, but Gage is a part of the argument in favor of that opinion that I’m 100% behind.
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE Got a Top 10 idea? Hit me up at mattwithers@joblo.com