Gotta give it up to AITH reader James Ramsay for this week’s awesome idea. There’s plenty of beasties, bad guys and beauties in the horror universe that are happy to separate peeps from their mortal coil, but a fun and unique subsection are those psychos that are just plain adorable.
They run the gamut from furry creatures to animated pastry, but one thing remains consistent. All that wanting to be closer to these suckers will get you is dead.
So throw on some Weezer, grab your best emo wear, and get ready to mix death with a great big “Awwwwww.” Of course that doesn’t mean you should take it easy on spitting those bullets below!
WARNING – PROOF THAT SWEET DOESN’T MEAN SAFE AHEAD! 10. Critters, CRITTERS Sure we all know now that a big bunch of teeth and creepy eyes are what await you if ya run into these particular fur balls, but the Critters seem about as threatening as a Tribble until they get ready to chow down on you. Plus, if you did manage to train one you could use it to eat up any yippy dogs you come across. Good family fun.
9. Masks, HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH What a sweet little pumpkin mask. Put it on Jimmy. Stand next to the T.V. Now let’s get a picture…what’s happening. Oh my God where are all those snakes coming from. Ahhhhhh! F*cking laser beams! Run!
8. Gingerdead Man, THE GINGERDEAD MAN I don’t know which is more genius. The idea of an evil cookie, or the decision to cast Gary Busey as the psychotic confection. Either way, you can’t help but feel safe around one of the favorite snacks of your youth. But you’d be wrong, because this sweet tasting sadist will shoot you, cut you, even (shudder) make you look funny. That’s one bad ass dessert.
7. Dilophosaurus, JURASSIC PARK Newman bit it hard when he got himself gnawed on by this beastie, but hell, you know you wanted to pet it too when the damn thing started that adorable trill/coo/gurgle sound. Spielberg is obviously great at confounding expectations to achieve scares, and he pulled a wicked double switch before pulling the Fat Man’s card.
6. The Grady Twins, THE SHINING Yeah, I know that as creepy as they are, they aren’t actually killers. In fact they’re victims, but here’s the thing. They’ve become a part of the evil of The Overlook Hotel, so in a roundabout way they ARE gonna getcha. Besides, evil or not, there’s no way that one look from those buggers doesn’t cause at least 70% of the people who see them to have a heart attack on the spot.
STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!