As the summer starts to wind down it occurs to me that we haven’t given any love yet to the fun of camp slashers. Hell, it basically became a cottage industry for low budget horror starting in the late 70’s and throughout the 80’s. Thankfully a few still trickle out now and then, and likely always will.
Much like porn these suckers are often enjoyable because of how bad they are – the dialogue, acting, effects and plot are often best when served up plain awful. Of course there are standouts as well that deliver plenty of scares and even an iconic villain or two. And let’s not forget the posters which generally rock!
So let’s take a look at the camps that any young mind should memorize, knowing that if your parents send you there they do not expect you to come back. Grab some bug spray, condoms and a machete. It’s time to get sweaty!
Did your favorite camp horror memory miss the list? Spit bullets below and exercise your power of oversight.
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE WARNING – CAMP BASED SLAUGHTER (AND SPOILERS) AHEAD! 5. Sunny Buttocks Nudist Camp, NUDIST COLONY OF THE DEAD If you dug My Boyfriend’s Back then this irreverent Zombie/Musical/Horror/Comedy might be right up your alley. Of course you’ll have to track it down on VHS because as far as I’m aware it hasn’t gotten the dignity of DVD release yet. But if the idea of watching a bunch of zombie nudists (resulting from a mass suicide under religious persecution) attacking peeps at a Religious Camp grabs your attention, then find this silly sucker and check it out.
4. Camp Special Dude, SPECIAL DEAD The tagline of this pup is “Sometimes heroes ride the short bus.” I think you get the idea. It doesn’t quite live up to it’s premise, which is too bad because the sucker had potential to be a real genre classic. But the fun and rampant bloodshed mixed with a non-PC attitude that comes across and less heavy handed and more effective that Uwe Boll’s Postal requires that Special Dead get some significant love.
3. Camp StoneWater, THE BURNING Less underappreciated than overlooked, anyone who has seen The Burning knows that the stellar cast along with outstanding and disgusting gore from Tom Savini make this a flick to give much love to. Granted the killer is far less compelling than Jason, Freddy, Pinhead, and Myers, but that’s hardly a reason to do anything other than rush out and rectify the situation if you’ve never gotten down and dirty with this baby.
2. Camp Arawak, SLEEPAWAY CAMP Angela, Angela, Angela. What is there to say about a psychotic, fragile, transgender bully killer other than you go, girl, uh, guy…whatever. I get confused. Just be nice to the shy kid at summer camp if you know what’s good for you.
1. Camp Crystal Lake, FRIDAY THE 13TH Mama said knock you out! Post Scream a lot more people know that lil Jason didn’t get his kill on until the second Friday movie, but it used to be a quick litmus test for whether or not somebody was a real genre fan. If they didn’t know who the f*ck Pamela Voorhees was, then they didn’t know their shite. Why do I mention this? Because I gotta write something and justifying F13 as #1 on this list would be a waste of all our time. That said, if any of you disagree with the pick then I
definitely want to hear the reasons below.
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE Got a Top 10 idea? Hit me up at mattwithers@joblo.com