Top 10: Cannibals #1

Last Updated on July 26, 2021


As Spring hits it is hard not to have your mind turn to nubile flesh and all the things that can be done with it. Like eating it!

Not like that you pervs. I’m talking about a more wholesome pursuit – cannibalism! Nothing like some human on human snacking to really put perspective on what’s important. Namely not getting your ass eaten by psycho foodies with non-discriminating palates.

Not much else to say but this, if you see any of these f*ckers walking your way, run away fast. And as always, if I miss a favorite flesh eater of yours, then spit some bullets and help rectify the situation.

WARNING – SPOILERS AHEAD!

10. Cannibal Tribes, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST



While CH is graphic as hell and is all about cannibal tribes, its denizens are really just doing what the society around them is doing. The point being that eating peeps in this flick, while certainly disgusting, does not destroy the boundaries of the social contract like in some other films. Still – bad tribespeople!

9. The Pack, THE HILLS HAVE EYES



Here’s another case of survival adaptation at work. I mean you’re not exactly rooting for The Pack, but you’re not totally against them either. It IS the only landscape they know, and food is hard to come by. Plus, who doesn’t have a little extra sympathy for folks screwed by the government these days?

8. Londoners, SWEENEY TODD



The amount of unwitting cannibalism on this list is a little disturbing. I don’t want to spoil the rest of the list, but suffice to say there are at least a couple more instances where peeps are eating peeps with no idea that what they’re ingesting is so thoroughly f*cked up. I love this example because it’s like finding out that the new hot spot in town is baking up your neighbors. Bon appetit!

7. Nick and Lily, PARENTS



The truly awesome thing about this scenario is that you’re supposed to be able to count on your parents to have your best interests at heart. So when it turns out your parents are psycho, man-eating nutballs, their perspective on your best interests probably diverges from yours. A very twisted tale that’s funny as hell. If you’re into that sort of thing.

6. New Yorkers, SOYLENT GREEN



“Soylent Green is people!” Probably Charlton Heston’s best line that doesn’t involve damn, dirty apes. The well known twist ending is still cool, even though SNL has more or less ruined any chance of surprise for fresh viewers. It’s not a perfect movie by any means, but it does manage to turn the entire population of NYC in 2022 into accidental cannibals. Not too shabby.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!

Source: AITH

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