Last Updated on July 26, 2021
Every once in awhile I get a bit stuck on what to do for the list, but usually inspiration in some form strikes. This time it was my two and a half year old son sinking his teeth into my shoulder from behind that got me thinking about horror biters.
It’s a nasty business getting killed that way. All chomps, grinds and chewing while you suffer excruciating pain and a not at all quick death. In other words total genre awesomeness!
So check out a bunch of creatures and peeps that would love to take a hunk or two out of your torso. And as always, if I miss your fav then spit bullets below!
The whole Critters franchise was pretty much destroyed by unnecessary and sub par sequels, but the original was one helluva fun movie. Nasty little
outer space buggers who roll up like tumble weeds before making you into the featured selection at their buffet. Tasty!
Obviously some sort of zombie had to make the list, but the question of which
came down to a simple matter of pure gory fun. Dawn features some of the
nastiest, goofiest, just plain stomach churning F/X I’ve ever seen in this kind
of context. Nothing like being forced to confront how meaty of a muscle the calf is to really drive home the point of how much it sucks to get bitten by a zombie.
Not only is Tremors a truly great B-movie, but it also has a special place in my
heart for essentially stealing it’s monster from the DUNE series, which has always been a favorite of mine. Plus it’s difficult to create a Jaws type fear above ground, yet the Graboids do it very effectively. If they just popped out of the ground and killed you with lasers or something, it would still suck, but wouldn’t hurt near as much as being turned into puppy chow.
How much does it mess with everybody’s head to have to think about the family dog going homicidally insane on your ass? Did you cry when Old Yeller died? Well Stephen King just upped the ante bigtime. It’s not even so much that I care about getting bitten by a dog. That’s happened and I was fine. But I look at my dog, think about him trying to rip my throat out, and ugh.
I wanted to use The Howling here at first, but then I realized they scratch a lot more than they bite. But when Mr. Kessler gets all wolfie he bites the shite out of some muthaf*ckers. And then they come back to showcase their wounds. Which is just genius. Disgusting, but genius.
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