Last Updated on July 27, 2021
DVD Pub’er Pat Torfe shot me an email the other day that led to a conversation along these lines:
PAT: You know what’s awesome?
ME: What?
PAT: Motherf*ckers getting bisected!
ME: Too true.
PAT: Top 10 list?
ME: Hell yeah!
So here you go my friends. Nothing fancy about this list. Just a good old fashioned fun time looking at some of the best ways that suckers have gotten chopped, diced, sliced, cut, gutted, axed, ripped, shredded, and plain done in through bodily separations.
Got your own faves? Spit bullets on ’em below!
Wait, what just happened? Did Michael Rooker just whip that dude with a tentacle or something? Oh, no way. He sliced the f*cker in half! Did you see how he just, and all the insides kinda, and wow that was awesome.
As you can tell I am very easily amused.
The laser grid is one of those scenes that is just about perfectly executed. The jeopardy is real and immediate. It also escalates quickly and achieves a very acceptable body count in a manner of seconds. Plus it’s cool as hell and the audio is completely revolting. An absolute treat.
I didn’t know who the f*ck Kimberly Caldwell was before I saw WT2, but I sure as hell would have voted for her on American Idol if I knew we had a future scream queen airing out her pipes on that show. She not only sends up the bitchy reality priss image, but also gets chewed on, chopped up and then dragged away in a scene that taught me you can be entertained by a body being dragged away. Who knew? Well done Ms. Caldwell.
Ben tries to steal money. Ben accidentally releases ghosts. Ben gets caught between two sliding glass doors (or coronal planes I guess). I have never in my life loved a lawyer in a movie as much as I was lovin’ Ben when the front half of his body slid down the glass while I got to peep his insides. For pure single chop style, this is the best bisection I’ve ever seen.
You know why GHOST SHIP didn’t really grab me overall. Because the opening scene was so incredibly outstanding that the rest of the movie had little chance to live up to it. I mean when you start with a scene of a full dance deck on a cruise ship getting cut in half by steel wire, where do you go from there? This is simply one of the finest mass death events in any movie ever. Bonus for you guys and gals is that some sick bastard attached Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On to the festivities which actually rocks even more. Enjoy!
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