A big thanks to AITH fan Sean Furlong for suggesting this week’s list!
We all know that horror and sex go together like The Arrow and strippers, but despite that long tradition of bumping uglies leading to ugly bump off’s, there are surprisingly few instances of bedroom kills. Maybe it’s the fact that teenagers have to get a bit more creative about where they pursue their nookie so as not to get caught by mom and dad.
You hear that parents of the world? Let your kids have sex in the house and they’re less likely to end up fodder for a maniac! Still, that doesn’t mean that the bedroom is sacrosanct. In fact there are some downright messy kills that effectively use that place where the magic happens.
So let’s take a trip to see just what nastiness can hide below the bed, under the covers, and right above our sleeping heads. A couple of these scenes eluded my efforts to find a suitable clip, so if you know a good place for your fellow horror hounds to sniff out a taste of what I’m laying down, spit some links and bullets below.
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE WARNING – INSOMNIA INDUCERS AHEAD! 5. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET It’s no surprise that the NOES series has made a habit of offing people in their sleeping quarters given the subject matter. We’ve seen waterbed deaths, dragged across the ceiling deaths, hot nurse deaths, and lots of other fun reasons to feel uncomfortable come sleepy time. But for pure gutcheck surprise it’s hard to beat Johnny Depp getting dragged down into his bed by Freddy’s claw, and then spewing insane amounts of blood into the air.
4. HALLOWEEN Both versions of the film nailed Lynda’s death, although I went with the newer, nudier look for the clip above. Admittedly you can’t beat PJ Soles hot and playful approach to a scene that both launched and killed a lot of boners. But Kristina Klebe is no slouch either, and she shows bush, so I have great affection for both visions.
3. TWITCH OF THE DEATH NERVE The great bloody set pieces that all good slashers manage to provide owe an unpayable debt to a movie with as many titles as I have sexual partners I regret. So we’ll go with my fav. And since the awesomeness that is the bedroom spearing pictured at the top of the article has eluded my grasp, just enjoy some good old fashioned Voorhees fun and look for the obvious homage.
2. SPECIES No clip, but maybe this’ll do (NSFW) General consensus around the AITH camp is that f*cked to death by Natasha Henstridge is a pretty good way to go. The fact is it’s just about perfect as far as good times horror goes. You’ve got the hot woman, ample nudity, pretty believable sexy, and then terror of the
how the hell can she be pregnant kind, followed by bloody mayhem and terror of the
oh shite my c*ck is in a homicidal alien kind. What’s not to love? And yes I know it was a hotel room instead of a “bedroom”, but to me it’s basically the same thing.
1. FREDDY VS. JASON Viciously stabbed to death and then cracked in half by a fold up bed? Count me in. When I first saw this scene I was so jazzed that it actually carried me through most of the bumps that a problem filled middle act provided. In fact the only way to make it any better would be to have the same scene featuring lesbians 69’ing each other before getting sliced and jack-knifed. Maybe in the sequel if that ever comes to pass.
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE Got a Top 10 idea? Hit me up at mattwithers@joblo.com