A big thanks to AITH fan Sean Furlong for suggesting this week’s list!
We all know that horror and sex go together like The Arrow and strippers, but despite that long tradition of bumping uglies leading to ugly bump off’s, there are surprisingly few instances of bedroom kills. Maybe it’s the fact that teenagers have to get a bit more creative about where they pursue their nookie so as not to get caught by mom and dad.
You hear that parents of the world? Let your kids have sex in the house and they’re less likely to end up fodder for a maniac! Still, that doesn’t mean that the bedroom is sacrosanct. In fact there are some downright messy kills that effectively use that place where the magic happens.
So let’s take a trip to see just what nastiness can hide below the bed, under the covers, and right above our sleeping heads. A couple of these scenes eluded my efforts to find a suitable clip, so if you know a good place for your fellow horror hounds to sniff out a taste of what I’m laying down, spit some links and bullets below.
WARNING – INSOMNIA INDUCERS AHEAD!
10. DAWN OF THE DEAD (remake)
What a f*cked up way to start a movie. Clearly Snyder knew that if he was going to pull off a remake of a Romero classic he was going to have to hit early and hit hard to get the audience to give him a chance. And that he did. You think you’ll ever have a worse start to your day than watching an undead child bite your spouse, who then gets a bit ravenous too and wants to eat you in the not good way? If so then please get counseling…now!
9. BRIDE OF CHUCKY
It’s not too often that a movie finds a way to off characters that I’d never really contemplated before, but this one was creative, surprising and just plain awesome! Those honeymoon suite mirrored ceilings are such a great brand of cheesy fun anyway that smashing one to kill the deserving suckers below it is just poetic. I am glad that no one pulled that on the wife and I at the Tropicana in Vegas though.
8. THE GRUDGE
Poor, poor Susan. The grudge biatch doesn’t seem to play by any rules, so this nice, helpful lady gets rodgered but good for very little reason other than it’s f*cking terrifying. It’s probably been since The Godfather that I’ve found myself this unpleasantly wigged out by what somebody discovered under their sheets. I mean even knowing what awaits, the damn scene still gets me every time.
7. THE EXORCIST
Not the most exciting deaths ever – heart failure, jump out a window – but the tension of this scene as young Regan is nearly destroyed, but ultimately freed from the evil spirit residing inside her is outstanding. Not only does that whole good vs. evil battle build up to this violent and unexpected climax, but it also leaves us unsure about how we feel. Solid stuff.
6. HIGH TENSION
This is an instance where a different perspective provides a unique experience of the goings on. Usually we are put in the shoes of the victim being stalked, and thus hope for them to escape, or at least put on a good show before expiring. But since our perspective here is watching a victim we know has no chance of escape, we sort of just want her to die quickly. Of course she doesn’t. She dies slowly and very messily. Like the best horror it’s very hard to watch.
STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!