Some times you just want to get down to brass tacks. Forget all the bells and whistles and boogie down with some of the straight up awesomeness that inhabits our beloved genre.
So let’s take a look at the coolest, badassiest weapons that have ever f*cked a motherf*cker up! A couple belong to very specific characters. Others have been used by multiple homicidal peeps. But they all kick, slice and maim serious butt.
Of course ya’ll ain’t scared to share your opinions, so if you’ve got a nom that didn’t make the list, spit those bullets and get the conversation flying!
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE
WARNING – SWEET, SWEET DESTRUCTION AHEAD!
5. Razor Glove
I don’t know how many of you got a chance to catch the first sound of Freddy dragging those metallic nails across steam pipes in an actual theater, but holy shite it was awesome! Since then the character of Freddy has gone from scary to comedic, to lame, and back to scary again. But through it all the one thing that has never changed is the fact you never, ever want to face that glove!
4. Machete
It may not be the flashiest or most obviously intimidating weapon out there, but Jason wields this bad boy like a pro. Plenty of other slashers have tried to steal the vibe, but when you get down to it, just like Carly Simon sang, nobody does it better.
3. Machine Gun Leg
F*ck me! You’re gonna give me a tasty upskirt shot of an unstoppably hot chica and then you’re also going to give her high powered weaponry as an artificial limb? It’s like Robert Rodriguez climbed inside my scrambled brain and brought all the fantasies straight to life. As far as sexiness goes, this sucker wins hands down.
2. Chainsaw
If you want to nail down the moment that nerd love and Sam Raimi became one, just check out the not yet buff Bruce Campbell as he straps on serious hardware in Evil Dead II after
cutting off his own hand! I won’t argue that Leatherface works the rotating saw well too, but nobody does it justice like Ash when it comes time to man up and get down.
1. Balls
I generally feel like Phantasm is a series that had a ton of promise that it failed to live up to. But no one can argue how creepy The Tall Man is, and his Ace in the hole is those flying silver balls of death. Not only are they near inescapable, they’re also a helluva lot of fun to watch. When they get dirty, things get messy. And that my friends is just how I like it!
READ PART 1 OF THIS LIST HERE
Got a Top 10 idea? Hit me up at mattwithers@joblo.com