Some times you just want to get down to brass tacks. Forget all the bells and whistles and boogie down with some of the straight up awesomeness that inhabits our beloved genre.
So let’s take a look at the coolest, badassiest weapons that have ever f*cked a motherf*cker up! A couple belong to very specific characters. Others have been used by multiple homicidal peeps. But they all kick, slice and maim serious butt.
Of course ya’ll ain’t scared to share your opinions, so if you’ve got a nom that didn’t make the list, spit those bullets and get the conversation flying!
WARNING – SWEET, SWEET DESTRUCTION AHEAD!
10. Axe
Let’s kick things off with a good solid standard. I mean, how much better does it get than a hatchet when it comes to killing some folks. Plus it makes clean up easy since you can chop the body (or bodies) into neat little pieces and you’re just a Hefty bag away from a clean slate. It almost makes serial killing seem easy.
9. Shoulder Cannon
Just the name of this sweet Predator favorite is enough to send chills through any weekend warrior’s spinal column. When you consider that it’s aimed by a laser sight that comes right out of the Pred’s face mask you have a near criminal level of outstandingness. If I could have one of these while negotiating DC traffic I’d be a happy man!
8. Bio-Force Gun
Yeah, BFG is indeed a Big F*cking Gun no matter what its “official” name is. Plus while DOOM was an ultimately disappointing movie, how can you get mad at The Rock finding a giant piece of destructo-beast like this sumbitch? You can’t! At least not if you’ve got any balls. So do ya?
7. Boomstick
Ash is the man. And he shows that by getting past any possible confusion when it comes to what a shotgun is by simply announcing, “This is my boomstick!” Screw those medieval bastards. They can catch up or shut up, because Ash is on the scene to TCB.
6. Hooks
Ouch, ouch, ouch. I can’t think of many less pleasant ways to spend eternity than dangling on Pinhead’s hooks. They’re so deliciously destructive that no one even questions why the hell Frank is quoting the bible at the end of the first film. Taking second in the hook dealing department is Ben Willis from I Know What You Did Last Summer. It’s a distant second, but still, he gets some props.
STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!