Those GI Joe cards…

UPDATE – A person who claims to have read the script checked in to help clarify. But that includes spoilers so look away if you don’t wanna know. Apparently in the movie, “The Doctor” actually turns out to be Cobra Commander and that the Mindbender character is just a minor cameo type thing. But from what I remember from early drafts, “The Doctor” is the guy who (through Destro) turns an ordinary solider into “Cobra”…

If you’ve been out and about on the interwebs today, you may have seen these new GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA cards that are circulating and causing all kinds of fanboy griping. Let’s try to get a few things straight. First, the images originated here and were sent it by a user who was at the UK Toy Fair. These aren’t trading cards, per se, but those character cards that you could cut out of the back of the packaging for the action figure. Second, these are legit. No Photoshop trickery here, this is actual GI JOE merchandise. Third, much of what we’re seeing isn’t all that new. Breaker, for example, was seen in the very first batch of promo stills that were released (see for yourself here).

The two new characters we get, The Doctor and Cobra Viper, seem to be eliciting all kinds of crazy reactions but Cobra Viper are glorified Stormtroopers. They’re henchmen so don’t get too crazy about the way they look. And The Doctor IS NOT Joseph Gordon Levitt/Cobra Commander. That is the movie’s version of Dr. Mindbender from the comics. Hence the monocle and the card’s claims that his “experiments deal with mind control.” So let’s not all lose our shit here. Optimus had lips and it wasn’t the end of the world. The first footage from the movie shows up during the Super Bowl this weekend and then we’ll have a better chance to judge… Click here to check out all the GI JOE cards.