The official synopsis for Len Wiseman’s Mars-less Total Recall remake

I’m still not sure how you can remake TOTAL RECALL and not set it in Mars, but Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback’s script stays far away. But seriously- besides Schwarzenegger screaming about giving the people air or the three breasted prostitute, don’t most people associate the original with the red planet?

The film will be directed by Len Wiseman of such fine pieces of cinema like UNDERWORLD and LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, and it stars Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, John Cho and Bill Nighy. I’m so upset that the cast looks so good because everything else about this film seems like a bad idea. 

Sony has today released the longest description of the film yet and it’s certainly familiar, even if the setting isn’t.

“Total Recall” is an action thriller about reality and memory, inspired anew by the famous short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the leader of the free world – Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.

So, pretty much the same film. TOTAL RECALL has a release date of August 3rd. Can anything top this?