In the little more than a year since TWILIGHT came out, I’ve seen my fair share of products the film franchise has spawned. Mostly, they’re lunchboxes and backpacks and Barbie dolls, but this? This is something else entirely. I wouldn’t be sharing it with out if I didn’t think it would make you question humanity as a whole, but here we are. Behold, the Twilight Man Pillow. I’ll let the creator explain.
Manllow: half man, half pillow. For all the twilight crazed lonely women in the world, Edward Cullen is finally here to be with you and only you. Sleep with him, cuddle with him, use him as a neck rest, the Edward Manllow is there to be your man and pillow all in one. Made of soft cotton jersey, screen printed face, polyester stuffing and love.
I’ve heard about how Japanese boys and James Franco fall in love with Hentai body pillows, but those are only half as creepy as these monstrosities. Look at that face! You could make an entire separate horror movie franchise about the Edward Manllow going around killing lonely high school girls! And why is his neck a solid two feet long? For extra room for sucking on it? Hint: doing so will not turn you into a sparkly vampire, girls.
And what’s even worse? It’s already sold out! So if you were planning on buying one to scare the hell out of your roommate when he comes home from work, you’re shit outta luck for the time being.