THE BLACK SHEEP is an ongoing column featuring different takes on films that either the writer HATED, but that the majority of film fans LOVED, or that the writer LOVED, but that most others LOATH. We’re hoping this column will promote constructive and geek fueled discussion. Dig in!
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN (1989)
DIRECTED BY ROB HEDDEN
Fourteen percent. Do you have any clue what that figure represents? No, not the collective blood alcohol level of Arrow in the Head, although it’s close. No, we’re talking about the critical approval rating, according to Metascore, of the movie that all but ended the great Jason Voorhees’ violent reign of terror at Paramount Pictures. Indeed folks, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN is less popular than a hot bowl of scurvy. But fourteen percent? F*cking hell!
While many reasons were given for the critical and commercial rebuke of the film, not least of which includes the poorest box-office showing for any FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise entry (earning just $14.3 million), perhaps the most entertaining criticism came from the L.A. Times, which, in its 1/10 rating of the film, claimed this of the movie: “funny ad campaign; a real dunghill of a major motion picture.”
Yeah, we’ll we’re here to call that shite a load of poppycock! Hogwash! Balderdash! F*ckng falderal! JASON TAKES MANHATTAN is not only a fun and freshly divergent take on the franchise’s tired and trampled summer-camp slaughter-fest template, one adorned with Voorhees’ second-highest kill-count mind you, but it also features some of the most inventively enthralling murder-modes in Jason’s CV. Now, as my all-time favorite slasher franchise, I realize I’m a bit of a Voorhees apologist, but let’s get into the reasons why JASON TAKES MANHATTAN is F*cking Black Sheep!
First off, some slack ought to be cut for Rob Hedden, who had neither written nor directed a feature length film prior to JASON TAKES MANHATTAN. Fault Paramount if you want, but Hedden was chosen after helming two episodes of the unrelated Friday the 13th TV series in 1988-89. So right of the bat we’re dealing with a novice filmmaker in charge of a major studio’s cash-cow horror franchise. No easy position to be in. Hedden has since apologized to fans and disowned the film for the poor results, which he claims is due to script changes that took much of the action away from NYC (budgetary reasons) and kept the drama limited to the ill-fated cruise ship. In fact, actors on set often referred to the flick as Jason Takes Vancouver, as the Canadian city doubled for NY in most shots, save for the two days Hedden and crew filmed in Times Square.
I’ll never understand why people were upset that Jason never spent more time in NYC. Who the f*ck cares? Y’all are that needy for an accurate movie title? Because I don’t recall a single death via chainsaw in THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, but that movie is still an undisputed masterpiece. EYES WIDE SHUT takes place in New York, yet the entire film was shot on a soundstage in England. So what! I for one love that most of the action takes place on an inescapable barge, where one loathsome teenager after another is gruesomely vitiated with a new murder weapon each time out. But let’s backup a bit. What cannot be defended is the hilarious revivification of Jason (played by the best in the franchise, Kane Hodder), who suddenly animates back to life when a houseboat on Crystal Lake jumpstarts his ass with electric cables. How the boat egresses into the Atlantic is anyone’s guess, but let’s not get bogged down in logistics. This is a Voorhees picture!
As the students of Lakeview High attend a class trip to NYC, we instantly align our contempt of the chaperoning teacher, Charles McCullough (Peter Mark Richman), a perverted louse with severe control issues. Seriously, I can never wait for this guy to die…and die good! Our sympathies extend to Rennie (Jensen Daggett), Charles’ niece, the only actress in the entire F13 franchise to portray a teenager AS a teenager (19 years old). Rennie’s supporting pals are admittedly less interesting, save for the sexy Eve (Kelly Hu) and badass pugilist Julius (V.C. Dupree). No matter, as the boat sails for the Big Apple, Jason forgoes his trusty machete as his weapon of choice and instead substitutes with a preponderance of coolly original instruments we’d never seen before. Honestly, what can supersede that as the number one reason to watch any F13 movie? Story? Well then the joke has always been on you!
To start, sure there’s a harpoon callback to Shelley’s death in F13 PART 3, but even that Jason impales into Jimmy’s navel rather than shooting a spear through an eyeball in 3D. Afterward, Jason expands his homicidal horizons with gleeful agog. My man skulks onto the boat cheekily named Lazarus, pilfers his trademark hockey mask, and proceeds to do work. The devil’s work! Jason slowly stabs Suz’s gut with a three-pronged spear until a well of blood bubbles up. Later, he has enough of J.J.’s strident electric rock in the bowels of the ship and bashes her head in with her snazzy 80s guitar. From here, another major complaint about the flick is the hallucinatory nature of Rennie’s visions throughout the film as she continues to envision Jason as a child. Yes, the FX work are incredibly poor, but the idea to add a supernatural element to Jason is an idea Hedden was adamant about trying in the attempt to elevate him from mere slasher. I’ve always appreciated this attempt, even if it tends to add more confusion than clarity.
After a dry spot, Voorhees gets back to baleful biz by implanting a hot sauna rock into the stomach of a boxing contender. What’s not to love about that shite? Ever the moralist, Voorhees stumbles on Tamara’s slutty blackmail scheme to con Charles into a good grade, and proceeds to butcher the bitch with a giant mirror-shard. Love it! Jason goes on to use a fire-axe, machete, and spear-gun to kill three more, before tossing another teen into a fiery circuit board and yet another into the roiling sea. All of which are outdone by the two stellar standout deaths of the most likable characters.
I defy anyone to talk shit about the disco scene in which Eva tries to evade Jason, only to be overpowered, lifted and strangled to death (Jason’s first such killing in the whole series) as a deafening 80s track and vertiginous rainbow strobe-lighting blares in the background. The chase, the death, the aftermath all work wonders in this scene. The same can be said of the part when V.C. gets his old block knocked off, literally. We’ve often cited this death as one of Jason’s Top 10 all-time kills, as V.C. punches himself out with body-blows to the unaffected Voorhees before getting decapitated with a single punch. His decollated dome-piece lands in a garbage bin below. Look, Jason deadens 20 motherf*ckers in the course of 100 minutes (the longest F13 flick), averaging a very respectable one death per five minutes. I really don’t know what else you can ask for in a goddamn 7th franchise sequel. A Shakespearian tragedy? An Oscar contender? Y’all are smoking dust!
Another major point of contention, at least among NY natives, is the unflattering light in which the city is depicted. Crime, drug and filth-ridden streets in the opening credits hardly do any favors to the NYC tourism board, never mind the toxic green sludge portrayed underneath the city streets. As a Cali native, I can’t feign offense for such depictions, but I certainly understand how ridiculous a reductive stereotype the city is seen as in the film. To wit, the finale of the film, in which Jason unmasks to reveal his hideous visage, is another part people aren’t too fond of. Again, I ask why? Voorhees shows his face in more than half of the F13 movies, and given the deformed devolution of the character over time, I never minded the crustily decrepit façade he was given, nor did I the hulking skeletal spine protruding from his backside.
I take little umbrage with anything in this film, as I do the entire F13 franchise, being a lifelong devotee to the series. The things people grouse about I’ve long since dismissed as irrelevant to why we, or at least I, enjoy the F13 flicks in the first place. It’s not because of the story. It’s not to root for insipid teenagers. It’s to watch Jason rip, flay, slice, slay, dice, and wickedly waylay said teens in as many different ways imaginable. By that test, JASON TAKES MANHATTAN succeeds in ways most have failed to recognize. Fourteen f*cking percent? That’s a F*cking Black Sheep no matter how you paint it!