The F*cking Black Sheep: Chopping Mall (1986)

Last Updated on July 30, 2021

THE BLACK SHEEP is an ongoing column featuring different takes on films that either the writer HATED, but that the majority of film fans LOVED, or that the writer LOVED, but that most others LOATH. We’re hoping this column will promote constructive and geek fueled discussion. Dig in!

CHOPPING MALL (1986)

DIRECTED BY JIM WYNORSKI

CHOPPING MALL…where shopping costs you an arm and a leg!

Damn I love the flavor of this well-aged hunk of 80s horror cheese! One could make a pretty strong argument that sleaze-hound himself Jim “Popatopolis” Wynorski’s entire filmography is one giant, 35-year-old F*cking Black Sheep. Seriously, the dude has toiled through the doldrums of super cheap, ultra-seedy, exploitative horror-erotica since breaking onto the scene with his 1984 feature debut LOST EMPIRE. And if many can agree that one of Wynorski’s best films is his hilarious horror romp of a second feature, CHOPPING MALL, then ipso facto, we may as well it call it the biggest F*cking Black Sheep of his entire cinematic canon. The extent of which now exceeds more than 100 titles.

Straight up, CHOPPING MALL is one of the most fun-filled and riotously enjoyable 80s midnight movies. And one of the main reasons one can tell it’s been grossly mistreated as fluttering afterthought, aside from the film culling a meager 22/100 Metascaore, is that it was actually released in theaters under the original title of KILLBOTS. The movie performed so badly at the box-office during its initial release that producers feared the filmgoing public got the wrong impression from the film poster, which inferred a Transformers-style kid’s film. After a short time, the film was yanked from theaters, cut by 15 minutes or so, and re-titled CHOPPING MALL to give audiences a more accurate depiction of what to expect. Now, nothing says exploitation like promising one thing and delivering another, a la the exemplary Grindhouse titles of the 70s. However, because the film negative of CHOPPING MALL was caught up in legal limbo from a rights standpoint, the DVD was ripped from a VHS master. Point is, the bald disrespect is endless for a movie that, amid a torpid sea of equally cheap and far more disastrous horror B-movies, clearly stands out head and shoulders above many of its sub-million-dollar contemporaries. Yes, Killbots can be F*cking Black Sheep too!

Shot in just 22 days with an estimated $800,000 budget, the story of CHOPPING MALL is a relatively simple one for good reason. Filmed in Sherman Oaks Galleria mall (yes, the same kickass location used in COMMANDO, which was filmed around the same time, but had a big enough budget to film during business hours, whereas CHOPPING MALL had to wait until the store was closed to shoot), the story is essentially the horrific flipside of SHORT CIRCUIT, which came out the same year. But instead of ole Johnny 5, here we’ve got Johnny 6…66. Better yet, three of them! That’s right y’all, when a storm surge malfunctions the power source of the mall security system, the glitch causes the new four-armed security robots – which roll around on wheels and shoot lasers through a thin red visor and multi-pronged claw-blades from its hip – to become outright murder machines. Unfortunately for a passel of horny ass teenagers who’ve snuck into the mall to party afterhours, the Killbots are out for mother*cking blood. Worse, these indiscriminant death-dealers rub their violent tendencies in the faces of their victims by uttering the phrase “have a nice day” in a low-pitch growl after every fatality. The voice of which is provided by none other than Popa Jim himself!

One of the inviolable strengths of CHOPPING MALL is its principal female cast members and ancillary bit players. It starts with the casting of the sweet and innocent faced Kelli Maroney (NIGHT OF THE COMET) in the lead role of Alice, as well as the ever-superb scream-queen Barbara Crampton (RE-ANIMATOR) who gives a really good turn here as Alice’s bestie Suzie. Add the raw sex-appeal of Mary Woronov, Suzee Slater, and Karrie Emerson and it becomes clear that the women overpower their male counterparts in the film from a pure performance standpoint. The only dude who really impresses in his role is Tony O’Dell as Ferdy, Alison’s nerdy love interest. In fact, I love how the geekiest characters in the film prove to be the most heroic in the end. As for side characters, none offer a more welcome sight than the quick appearance of both Paul Bartel (EATING RAOUL) and Dick Miller, the latter a legendary genre vet who not only gets to spout some hilarious lines to a robot before being zapped to death, but also reprises his iconic role as Walter Paisely from Roger Corman’s classic BUCKET OF BLOOD. The tie-in? Corman produced CHOPPING MALL as well, another nod to which comes when Alison and Ferdy watch Corman’s ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS in the furniture store as the other teens roll around in the sack. Also, in terms of cheeky tie-ins, notice the poster for Wynorski’s LOST EMPIRE on the eatery wall!

Another salient strong suit of the film is the aforementioned mall it takes place in. Wynorski made one smart move by filming in a real-life mall; for what better way to overcome a shoestring budget than find a location that offers instant production value. And the interior architecture of this particular mall is really cool, modern and filled with 80s neon color and popular product placement. Remember the elevator sequence from COMMANDO and how cool the mall scenes are in that flick? Apply that to the whole of CHOPPING MALL and you can see what we’re getting at. It’s simply a great cinematic location to begin with, one that Wynorski takes full advantage of. Not just with the lobby or the cool circular floor-tiers and interchanging bridges, but the specific stores in the mall as well. As our idiotic teens try to evade the murderous bots, they find themselves in a sporting goods store (called Peckinpah’s), a department store, pet store, paint store, food court, and more. What this does is give the illusion of multiple locations under one umbrella, making for an exciting and constantly altered setting that never feels boring or overstayed. The mall itself is one of the biggest reasons why CHOPPING MALL is such a fun time, which is why it’s surprising to hear that, despite the head of security hating Wynorski and crew while filming on set, the producers ignored the security guard’s complaint and allowed the production to carry on as they wished.

Of course, what’s a good horror film without a competent dose of indelible violence? With 10 corpses stacked over an extremely quick 77 minutes, we’re treated to one gnarly death every 7.7 minutes. The hell is not to love about that? And aside from two late, really lazy deaths involving Greg (Nick Segal) and Linda (Emmerson) – in which the visual FX couldn’t look laughably chintzier – most of the deaths in CHOPPING MALL kick major ass. I personally love the sequence when, needing a post-coital cig, Leslie orders Rick to find her a pack of Virgin Lights. Dude hornily obeys, only to become corned by baleful bot and attacked until his throat is slashed and head nearly decollated. And right on cue, when he doesn’t return fast enough, Leslie goes after him and becomes chased through the mall until, in a head-explosion that rivals SCANNERS, her pretty little dome is gorily splattered across the very window her friends witness the horror through. Shite’s gorgeous!

All told, CHOPPING MALL deserves a far better reputation than the most sterling 4/10 rating it’s received from TV Guide. That shite’s an insult. CHOPPING MALL is fast, fun, female-centric and ferociously violent. Its excellent location, jaunty pacing, impressive death percentage and badass high-concept premise cement its status as F*cking Black Sheep of a 1980s horror flick!

GET CHOPPNG MALL ON BLU-RAY HERE