PLOT: A cocky yet resilient Maori warrior must stop the minor issue of the dead rising and figure out how to save the world from the oncoming apocalypse. Sounds good in theory, right?
LOWDOWN: To be completely honest, I’ve been drawn to New Zealand ever since I first saw FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING in theaters many years ago. The many landscapes looked mystical and unreal. How could something so perfect exist? Then to find out some of the most beautiful rolling hills sit next to major cities where music and movie flourish. All that’s next to my city is more crime. You give me a mythical horror-based show on the Maori culture, with heavy horror influences (think APOCALYPTO meets THE EVIL DEAD) set in the beautiful New Zealand countryside, ya, I’m all in! It couldn’t be anything but amazing, right? Well, take a seat because we need to talk about THE DEAD LANDS (WATCH IT HERE).
After a quick death, Waka Nuku Rau (Te Kohe Tuhaka) is resurrected and must use his expertise in killing (didn’t save him that one time though) to find and close the rip between the land of the living and the land of the dead. This tear in existence is causing the rise of the… deadites? I can’t comfortably use the term zombie as these undead beings are clearly modeled after the deadites from THE EVIL DEAD. The first season has Waka Nuku Rau partner with Mehe (Darneen Christian) a survivor from another tribe. A tough but reasonable girl (Christian) and a hotheaded warrior (Tuhaka) must work together and overcome their differences and defeat the evil. Standard stuff, but the horror-based mystical backdrop separates this from the rest of the mid-grade horror on TV. As disappointed as I am with the final result of THE DEAD LANDS, there are a few positives that I'd like to get out of the way first.
Waka Nuku Rau is a great character that fits as our lead protagonist. Tuhaka has an intensity (along with a badass beard) to play the feared and famous warrior. His arc for the first season is like that of Sawyer’s from LOST. He’s stubborn and selfish but slowly learns the beauty of balance while not always thinking with his weapon first. I was invested from the start, and I liked how Tuhaka portrayed him. There’s a sincerity that won me over and gave off the everyman vibe that I’d like to sit down and have a beer with. Mehe grew on me as the tough but kind tribeswoman who goes from an inexperienced fighter with a heart of gold to a tough and noblewoman who will do anything to save the world. She was a reasonable voice to counter Waka Nuku Rau’s killer instincts, and their relationship worked well enough to carry me through the season.
The action has a “grab you by the balls” type of style and was the highlight for me. A mix of ancient Maori martial arts mixed with weapons leads to some great and gory fight scenes. As an action show, this has promise and the fight choreography was top notch. The money went to the fights, and it showed on-screen. Even as the budget seems inadequate at times, the action never felt cheapened or under-developed. I also LOVED the number of beheadings and the fountain of blood that accompanied it. Since there are at least a few fights per episode, it made for a quick-paced experience that made even the worst episodes tolerable.
But that's where the love stops because, in the end, THE DEAD LANDS fails on some of the most basic levels. I once complimented the amazing ASH VS EVIL DEAD for feeling like a continuation of the fun and goofy adventures of Xena or Hercules, only hyper-violet and over-the-top. THE DEAD LANDS felt a lot like XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS and that is at odds with the dark and dramatic story it’s trying to tell. There is this constant struggle with wanting to be dark and brooding, yet have an absurd amount of light banter and comical misunderstandings. What, why? The tone is frustrating and undermines any tension or struggle the characters encounter. I’m not against levity, but THE DEAD LANDS should have been more in line with the tone of VIKINGS. How cool would an alternate history of intense horror with the undead set in a pre-colonial New Zealand be? Give me that show.
Why would you NOT make that show? What we get here is something out of the ‘90s. The weekly adventure feels with the stacks high enough for a quick story arc, but there is never any actual threat to the characters. Mix it with some lame dialogue and a “fun” tone and THE DEAD LANDS feels like an old school show retrofitted for the new era of TV without doing any of the reconstruction needed. The level of exposition spoken here must be breaking some writing rules because it gets to a level that's almost comical. Human beings don't speak this way and it made for some very awkward delivery that was hard not to just pin on actors. But where Tuhaka and Christian work their best with the stilted dialogue, others don't quite perform. It makes for cringy and uncomfortable dramatic scenes and that's when they aren't undercut with unneeded comedy.
GORE: When the blood does flow, it is glorious. We get more than a few beheadings and a couple of stabbing to round things out. The blood is over-the-top and one of the best parts. I do think it should have gone total B-level gore but we get more than you'd expect.
BOTTOM LINE: In concept, THE DEAD LANDS should be a home f*cking run. We get some brutal hand to hand combat, witches, an exorcism, and some gorgeous landscapes. Re-read what I just wrote, and tell me that doesn't sound amazing. All the right ingredients are here, but the result somehow ends up being a corny, and underwhelming tale that doesn’t quite know what it wants to be. I would love a serious story to tackle Maori mythology, but even with a lot of great ideas here, the execution and mishandling make this a frustrating and disappointing experience. I hope that THE DEAD LANDS may grow into a better show that can give New Zealand a quality horror series that I can support, but for now, this ain’t it.