Categories: JoBlo Originals

The Best of the Bad Guys: Carrie

There’s nothing like the first time. Your first published novel. Your first Prom. First telekinetic murder spree. Whatever. In the case of the 1974 novel, Carrie, it was Stephen King’s first time having a book published. It would also be the first piece of his work to ever grace the silver screen. Carrie would be released in 1976 on its way to becoming an all-time horror classic. In the film, Sissy Spacek plays an extremely shy and sheltered High School girl who is bullied relentlessly at home and school. At home, her mother is a complete and total nutbar salad who has weaponized her religious beliefs against her daughter. She locks her in the closet with this little coked-out Jesus statue and has for all intents and purposes ruined her chance at a normal life. One day at school, Carrie gets her period for the first time while in the community showers. Because she’s been neglected at home, the poor girl has no idea what is happening to her. She, after an alarmingly odd shower sequence, freaks out and starts begging for help, rubbing her blood all over the other girls. Which, to be fair, is super gross. But she didn’t know any better. The other girls then laugh at her and throw tampons and pads at her, while chanting, “Plug it up!” Basically, your average Philadelphia Eagles visitors section experience. In the end, these breathtakingly mean kids go one step too far. She’s voted prom queen only to have a bucket of pig blood dumped on her head on the stage in front of everyone. Naturally, she freaks the f*ck out and uses her newfound telekinesis powers to lock everyone in the school before taking her revenge in one glorious bloodbath. And you thought Diddy’s parties were bad.

The Carrie freak out moment is the staple of the movie and what has shockingly become a four film franchise. So, today on “The Best of the Bad Guys”, we’ll honor this moment across the entire franchise. Consisting of the original film, one of the worst sequels to exist in the history of mankind, a made for TV remake, and another remake in 2013. Each of them with their very own Carrie freakout. Every one of these scenes, no matter how awful, have something to offer. Now plug it up and break out your dirty pillows. Let’s get into it! Let’s start with the first, and best: Brian DePalma’s 1976 classic, Carrie.

CARRIE (1976)

When the bucket of pig blood finally unleashes upon Carrie in the final act, it’s almost a relief for the audience. This because the tension leading up to it was almost excruciating as DePalma slowly unraveled the inevitable. Complete with these extremely uncomfortably up-close shots of Nancy Allen licking her lips. The tension keeps simmering post literal blood bath, as we are forced to be a party to the inner workings of Carrie’s brain breaking down like a Temu-bought toaster oven. Finally, she flashes the best crazy eyes in the franchise and the masterclass in filmmaking begins.

It is undeniable that the original is not only the best overall of the freak-out scenes but it is the most expertly crafted from behind the camera. We are treated to a split screenshot where can both see Carrie direct her symphony-o-death from the stage and witness the violence in real-time. 

As the doors shut, that one escalating note from the score screeches out, and the lights turn bright red…. the aura is unmatched. It’s a truly frightening moment where all these annoying shits have finally poked the bear one too many times and you can feel the world crack beneath your feet.

Pandemonium ensues, the score dances with the technical sounds of electrical mayhem, and the gym teacher is doing what she loves most: striking kids in the face out of love. The firehose that comes to life has a snake-like creepiness to it, and cruelly sprays Norma in the face continuously after she’s stopped responding. She does NOT see anything she likes.

The gym teacher gets it here when a structure from the ceiling snaps and violently strikes her midsection. Multiple folks are electrocuted and finally, the stage is lit up in flames. Carrie’s walk out moment here, like most moments in the original, was far and away more frightening than anything that would come after. The way she almost floats out of the school doors is haunting. It goes without saying. This is the best of them all. But the others have their moments too! No, really! Come on!

THE RAGE: CARRIE 2 (1999)

In a shocking show of Hollywood restraint, the story of Carrie sat dormant for twenty-two years. Then, a script titled The Curse was reformatted 10 Cloverfield Lane style to become a sequel titled The Rage: Carrie 2. THE RAGE, MICHAEL! The story was different, but it all ended the same. A teenage girl with kinetic abilities was bullied to the brink before she went berserker style on a bunch of assholes, this time at a party not unlike the one Stu Macher threw in Scream.

When Mark (who I swear to God looks just like a third Dillon brother but isn’t) and the Home Improvement kid show a video of Rachel losing her virginity on their Buffalo Wild Wings sized monitors for everyone to see… she finally snaps. And believe me, we were all rooting for her at this point. For some dumb reason Rachel’s heart tattoo begins to beat and spreads across her body as she makes “I have to use the bathroom” face before the room comes crashing down. Chandeliers fall, glass goes flying, and heads literally roll. As the massacre unfolds, you have to give credit to the sweet double impalement with the fire poker. Then, she goes full Hellraiser III and starts firing CDs at everyone. Because the ’90s, bro.

Rachel sets Mark Wahlberg’s pool house on fire as Finch from American Pie looks on in his bucket hat… and things haven’t even begun to get stupid. The kids collect weapons to fight her with as she stands there like an idiot in the living room. Will someone please find her Papa Roach CD and return it already? The camera inexplicably goes into black and white mode and you KNOW her eyes are getting tired from her holding them open like that this entire time. We finally make our way to the pool when she telekinetically explodes the eyeballs of the girl holding the speargun. The victim… and here’s the best part… then turns around and fires it, double-kill style through Tim the Tool-man’s son’s man bits. Outstanding. *Shia LaBeouf clap*

Finally, the last bad guy dies by drowning after being too stupid to duck a pool cover and blinks himself to death in the water. Then her mom shows up and oh my God who cares, this movie is atrocious. But it does have the most Jason Voorhees-esque kills of all Carrie’s freak outs. Even though it’s not Carrie. Her name is Rachel. Not even the title makes sense.

CARRIE (2002)

In 2002, Bryan Fuller penned a television re-imagining of the original film, starring Angela Bettis (May). This would end in mostly the same way but would incorporate ideas from the original novel for the first time. Such as the telling of the story through the POV of the townsfolk, and the added emphasis on Carrie burning the entire town down. It would, though, tack on an ending where Carrie survived and went missing in the hopes that NBC could follow up with a TV series. This never happened.

If you’re wondering what the same Carrie freak-out scene in 1976 looks like in 2002 with the new technologies the world has to offer? Don’t. I understand we’re dealing with a made-for-TV movie; but what in The Langoliers special FX quality level ass is going on here?

I do love that a guy gets his arm stuck in the doors as she shuts them… but nothing can save us from these quick camera cuts and Windows Movie Studio 2001 effects. Some weird Halloween 6 score style guitar squeals and OH MY GOD she murders a girl with a basketball hoop! Fantastic idea. Inexcusable execution. This was 2002! Why does this all look like a 1997 CD Rom game? They didn’t even bother putting a net on it for God’s sake!

Every film gets a participatory trophy here on Best of the Bad Guys. So, the one and only thing I give this version of Carrie credit for is that it follows the original book in a way the others don’t. We actually focus a little bit more on the devastation she caused away from the school and through the POV of others. I also do enjoy that this tiny little film decided “f*ck it, we’re going to show it all. Twelve dollar budget or not.” There are absolutely atrocious looking scenes. But the willingness to go for it and show the whole scope of the city burning in a way none of the other films did is respectable. I also love the Night of the Twisters vibe in all of these downtown scenes. Look at some of the graphics in the shots! I mean that’s just hilarious. Carrie 2002 is the ballsiest, funniest, and most shameless of the films. That’s something.

CARRIE (2013)

In 2013, a sometimes shot-for-shot remake of the original film was forced upon us. Though there was already a perfect version of the film right there on home video. I digress. The main differences are an opening shot of the home birth of Carrie (which is actually pretty messed up) and an ending that goes full-on Final Destination-style 2000s schlock. The film has the gall to ask us to believe that Chloe Grace Moretz was the ugly duckling of her high school. It also asks Julianne Moore to do a straight up impression of one of the most amazingly awkward performances of all time in Piper Laurie’s Margaret White. 

The main freak-out of 2013 starts as unimpressively as you’d expect. We have to deal with an awkward Ansel Elgort “What the hell!?!” that has the intensity of someone whose mom bought the wrong kind of Lunchables. “You know I hate turkey! GOD!” The film removes moral ambiguity by cutting the grey area from some of the high schoolers. Tommy was genuinely a good guy and it’s his death that sets Carrie off. So on, so forth. But the thing that really sets the film apart is what comes next…. when Carrie snaps and goes full on Ghost Ship opening sequence.

She throws her kinetic weight at the crowd with such a force, they go bowling over in hilarious fashion. It’s a pretty awesome shot, even if the CGI is blatant. The moment is capped off by an amazingly stupid and fun shot of a teen flying face-first into a door that doubles as the camera lens. It’s no DePalma, but I’ll be goddamned if it doesn’t tickle you a little bit. This is one of those moments where you remember Carrie was a RealD 3D and IMAX release at the time. Because when you think of 3D, you think of Carrie. Maybe in the next remake they’ll develop a technology that actually throws tampons at the audience. It’s horrid. But it’s pretty entertaining.

Actually, one of the best scenes of all the Carrie freakouts belongs to 2013. When Carrie does a quick “Your soul is mine” to a runaway and chomps his ass up in the moving bleachers. Excellent death. Original. No notes. We also see some twins get focused on as they are trampled to death with a high-heeled twist. Carrie again eschews the original film’s moral ambiguity by sparing the gym teacher before literally superhero flying away. Just her creepily floating out wasn’t good enough. Harder, faster, faster, dumber.

Our most obnoxiously hate-able Billy and Chris of all the films sit in their car having another stupid conversation between the American Horror Story rejects when Carrie finds them. Personally, I’ll take the quick and creepy, choppy style death and camerawork of the original… but some will find more joy in watching Billy get literally wrecked in slow motion here. Not to mention the slow motion shot we get of left in the oven too long Lindsay Lohan faceplanting into the windshield. It’s a weirdly cut-off shot but satisfying, nonetheless. I leave it to you folks… comment below… the original death of Billy and Chris? Or does this one satisfy your bloodlust more?

To give each film their final flowers, I’d say the 2002 remake gives us the closest story to the book. The 2013 film gives us a gnarlier look at the death scenes. Carrie 2 gives us one of the worst sequels to ever exist. Finally, the original has the best camera work, cinematography, acting, scares, and suspense of them all. They even had the scariest Jesus statue! GOOD GOD that’s horrifying.

Time for US to plug it up! Hope you enjoyed this video and will check out our previous versions of Best of the Bad Guys for everyone from Freddy Krueger to Damien Thorne. Have a great day and thanks for hanging out!

A couple of the previous episodes of The Best of the Bad Guys can be seen below. To see more, click over to the JoBlo Horror Originals YouTube channel – and subscribe while you’re there!

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Published by
Mike Holtz