Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a
Movie Jail
trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the
defendant
is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a shithouse.
The Defendant
Adam Sandler
The Case
The Prosecution: Click, Spanglish, Eight Crazy Nights, Bedtime Stories, The Longest Yard, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Just
Go With It,
Jack & Jill.*
When is enough, enough? Though Sandler’s movies consistently gross over $50M a picture (exceptions are some of his dramatic turns in Reign
Over Me,
Punch Drunk Love and Spanglish), and close to half grossing over $100M worldwide, the quality of this output is just as consistent….in awfulness. His
highest
critically rated movies on Rotten Tomatoes are Punch Drunk Love, Funny People, Stupidity and The Wedding Singer. While most are officially “rotten” on the
site, the
same holds true for the audience rating. And though the court retains the fact that the movies are financially successful, the court fails to receive any
evidence
that anyone likes these pieces of shitballs…..of shit.
The Defense: Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, The Waterboy, Punch Drunk Love amongst others, comedy CDs “They’re All Gonna Laugh At
You” and
“What the Hell Happened to Me” as well as his skits on Saturday Night Live and cameos in a handful of other movies like Dirty Work and Coneheads*
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
Sandler showed up big in his first couple headlining gigs with Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore, widely considered to be his funniest roles and “classics” for
a
generation. He parlayed that success into other successful comedies including The Waterboy, The Wedding Singer and Big Daddy. Some proved to be more
financially
successful than others, but the fact is that Sandler made the mid and late 90s his bitch, and made Happy Madison Productions a money making factory.
IN CLOSING…
So, what’s to be done with Mr. Sandler? Could his earlier successful movies give a pass to the more recent, water downed version of the man?
Does his box office appeal have any bearing in this case? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, I ask
you The Jury, is Adam Sandler GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
“Baby talk baby talk….yell….laugh…..SHUT UP!