Categories: Horror Movie Reviews

Survival Skills (Movie Review)

PLOT: Jim, a rookie cop trapped in a mid 80s police training video by an omnipotent and malicious Narrator (Keach). For the next hour, we’re going to follow Jim as he navigates his first year as a police officer. He’ll conduct traffic stops, make arrests, interact with his community, and spiral out of control, endangering the people he loves most. Good luck, Jim!

REVIEW: Written and directed by Quinn Armstrong, SURVIVAL SKILLS is drawn from the weird world of police training VHS videos of the 1980s – such as SURVIVING EDGED WEAPONS and SATANIC RITUAL ABUSE – as well as from Armstrong’s personal experience working at domestic violence shelters and interacting with law enforcement there. More specifically, the film tells the tale of a rookie policeman named Jim who tries his best as a new officer, buying groceries for a child without food in the fridge, and being a stand-up citizen. But then his good nature becomes his downfall when – as the synopsis lets us know – he gets in over his head when he tries to resolve a domestic violence case outside the law.

Let it be known right off the bat that I'm a big sucker for VHS nostalgia. It delights me to no end. But, truth be told, I'm not familiar with these old school police training videos. I was never in the running to be a cop. But that said, I am familiar with some of the terrible VHS training videos from back in the day – such as fast-food chains – and I can say that the movie sports a killer re-creation of old VHS aesthetics. So if you love VHS nostalgia you'll be delighted with his flick. And if you were a police trainee in the 80s and were submitted to one of these videos, I can only imagine you will be doubly delighted. As with something like GRINDHOUSE, the VHS effects get crazier as the emotions on the screen heighten. And it works like a charm. 

Other than the killer VHS aesthetics, the major draw to this flick is Stacy Keach (ROAD GAMES, AMERICAN HISTORY X), who provides the voice-over and hosts this little diddy. Keach's presence was much appreciated by this viewer – as was seeing him take on a rare fun and funny role. Thankfully, while the man's role is confined to him sitting behind a desk the whole time, the limited movements don't matter much as these bits are sprinkled through the film keeping Keach's presence on the forefront for most of the movie's running time. The lead actor was a lot of fun as well, functioning like a ginger Mr. Spock, feeling more robotic than anything else. And that approach works for the comedy of the flick as it is no doubt an attempt to recreate the wooden acting that I'm sure was bountiful in these low-budget productions. But again, it works gangbusters for the comedy.

A side effect of the movie is an interesting look into the actual training of police. Not sure how much of it is true but a good amount seems legit so I dug the insights into the job – at least as it was back in the '80s. Plus I loved the deadpan comedy. The movie takes a good bit of fun twisting its initial VHS training video set-up, and gets slightly meta here and then as Keach fast-forwards through boring moments looking to the camera to tell us, "We'll cover this later." It's a mini-blast. And police training videos aren't the only medium parodied here. Sitcoms get it as well. Sure, some of the comedy is un-subtle – such as an instructor straight up wearing a t-shirt that says "My Penis is Huge" – but for the most part the movie gets the chuckles just right.

As I popped this flick into my VCR (meaning popped on my screening copy) I was wondering just how the movie would sustain this training video vibe throughout. And I was pleased to find out that it does, due to the fact that the aesthetics are motivated by the main character. Basically you could think of the VHS aspects as the main character's mind obsessed with these training videos and so he sees his whole experience as a new cop through this strange (but fun) prism. Presented in 4:3, another aspect that I appreciated was a horrible 80's CGI used in the videos. Classic. Got to love it. But…

Overall, the film is very funny … but also very dark. 80's police training videos? Fodder for comedy for days. Domestic violence? Not so much. It's a tone that might not sit well with a lot of viewers, and I wish the filmmakers had chosen a metaphor for domestic abuse as the center of their horror as opposed to hitting the nail right on the head. Being that this is the '80s, Satanic Panic would have been a much better – and more importantly – more fun villain to bring into the film. Oh, well. That said, being that I've grown up on a steady diet of Coen Brothers movies, I felt right at home with the film's "should I laugh or be horrified?" back and forth. In the end, plain and simple, this is an INCREDIBLY odd movie and not for everyone's tastes. But if you're like me and find the trailer to be entertaining on its own, then I can guarantee you that you will enjoy (most of) the full film. But if you peep the trailer and walk away scratching your head, you'll likely leave the movie with the same reaction. Come for the VHS nostalgia. Stay for Keach's comedy.

SURVIVAL SKILLS held its world premiere at Cinequest Film Festival earlier this month. We'll let you know as soon as a release date is announced. 

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Published by
Mike Sprague