Silent Bob plays hockey

You ever drive three hours to watch somebody play street hockey? I have, and
not just because I’m Canadian. Writer, director, Kevin Smith took his love of
the sport and new found appreciation for everything Gretzky to Brantford,
Ontario this past weekend to participate in the the
3rd Annual Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament. If you’ve ever listened to
SModcast, Kevin’s and long
time producer, Scott Mosier’s running podcast, you’d know that Mr. Smith has a
special admiration for NHL legend Wayne Gretzky as a player, a leader, and
overall dominant human being. This lead him to the discovery of Wayne’s father’s
hockey tourney in the heart of Brantford, a hockey mecca, if only because Wayne
was born there. The proceeds of the weekend will benefit the Brantford Sports
Facilities Infrastructure Legacy Fund.

Kev brought some friends too. His own team (Puck U), for which he played
goal, featured his wife, Jennifer Schwalbach, Mosier, independent film director
Malcolm Ingram, and porn actress Katie Morgan. View Askew favourites Jason Mewes
and Walt Flanagan were on the roster but didn’t show up. Among the three other
View Askew sponsored teams (the Leonardo Reapers, the Monroeville Zombies, and
the Vulgarians) were members of ViewAskew.com’s message boards. All teams were
entered and paid for by Smith with the team with the most wins getting to take
home some one-of-a-kind movie props from Kev’s films (I believe the Vulgarians
took this honour). Some highlights, including my favorite moment of the tournament which feature Kev facing off against his first penalty shot from the other goalie and some quality shit-talking before getting scored on:

• Once Smith shook some nerves and got used to his brand new pads there was
  some inspired goaltending for Puck U. And sweat. There was a lot of sweat.
• Mosier surprised the hell out of me. Here’s a guy that talked himself down
  constantly during the prior SModcasts and ended up being Puck U’s most
  valuable player.
• Schwalbach ended up taking the hardest hit I saw all weekend. She just
  giggled and kept running in random directions.
• Katie Morgan is the smallest women I’ve ever seen. And I saw a lot of her
  being offside.
• Saw way too much of Malcolm’s ass-crack. The guy played his heart out
  though.
• After a first game ass-kicking, Kev recruited players from other View
  Askew teams to join Puck U. They were known as Sell-Outs the remainder of the
  tourney.
• Kev was not shy with the F-bombs during the action (especially towards Dicicco). Also, when asked if he
  needed a beer by some random dude behind him, he replied “No, some weed. A
  giant bag of weed.” Then he went flat out and made another spectacular save.
• Random heckle from the stands after a weak goal on Kev – “That was worse
  than Jersey Girl!”

Other than the tournament, Kev also partook in the festivity’s opening
ceremonies, where he received a shitload of autographed Gretzky goods, an
exhibition game on Sunday and a live SModcast with Mosier on Saturday night. He
also confirmed with Brantford officials that he’s going to be coming back every
year to play. On a personal note, I just wanted to thank fellow JoBlo.com employee, Nick Bosworth, for all his help with the coverage and Kevin Smith for coming down to Canada during his packed schedule (he’s actually in the middle of shooting A COUPLE OF
DICKS right now in New York) and showing love for his fans like no other celebrity on Earth. And maybe helping to discover the next Gretzky. Now, on to the pictures:

Be sure to check out the next episode of the The JoBlo Movie Show for more footage (in glorious montage-vision) and tune into the The JoBlo
Podcast to hear some of my thoughts of the weekend.