Show Us Your Shit #21

This latest column on the DVD CLINIC asks
YOU to be participate and yes, ladies and germs….SHOW US YOUR
SHIT!! If you’ve got a cool collection of DVDs, movie posters, toys, comic books, figurines, an awesome home theater set-up that you just have to share with the rest of the world of movie nerds who reside on this very site, this column is for you! Just read the requirements below and drop us a line at [email protected] with pics, videos and commentary about your nifty stuff and your collection might be the next one up here.

REQUIREMENTS:

1) Please include any basic personal info on yourself, so others could know who the f*ck you are. Age, sex, geographical location, what you do in life, etc….

2) Take some pictures or videos of any cool shit you have in your pad, and send it along with your message to us. Make sure that every picture/video is explained and you don’t just send us a bunch of pics and say “Here’s my shit!”, cause that’s not what we’re looking for. We need some words attached to the pics, what they are, where you might’ve got it, shit like that.

3) Try and zone in on a couple of your FAVORITE AND UNIQUE ITEMS and point those out as well. If possible, let our readers know WHERE you might’ve bought them, etc…

Name: Ryan Onstad

Age: 28

Where: Lincoln, NE

Job: Hospital Administrator

Hello fellow movie maniacs! My name is Ryan Onstad, I’m 28, I work at a Hospital where I do clerical and filing work and I’m also a radio DJ for Lincoln’s home for pure rock, 1041 The Blaze, I live in Lincoln, NE, Home of the 2008 Nebraska Cornhusker football team, lead by our new leader Bo Pelini, were coming to stomp on USC this season, amongst many other teams! So, here’s a glimpse at the majority of my shit!

— CLICK PICS TO ENLARGE —

Here’s my TV, all 62 inches of it. Yeah, I know it’s a projection TV and not some cool HD/LCD flatscreen, 4000-5000 dollar monster that some have, but I like it all the same. Above the TV you will notice my X-Files Collectors edition Barbie dolls. Now you maybe wondering “why does he have 2 of them?” That’s because the one on the right is a collectors item because it was re-called because the Agent Scully doll had LONG hair, as opposed to the SHORT hair she has all through out the show. I also have autographed pics of Laura Linney, the amazing 3 time Oscar nominated actress, who is an extremely under-rated actress…and an extremely under-rated piece of ass! Bill Paxton, because, well, Bill Paxton is the man! I mean, come on, the man has been killed by The Terminator, Predator and Aliens, while still finding time to fight off Twisters and hold down 3 wives on “Big Love”, Bill’s the man.

You maybe wondering about the Van Damme pic…most do, because, well, he looks extremely gay in that photo. There is a funny story to that…the majority of the autographed photos I have are gifts from friends, in the case of Van Damme, my friend Nat (Nat…like the bug? (little “Uncle Buck” reference for you everyone!) gave that too me because he thought the pic was so odd, because the majority of the photos he found of Van Damme were of him looking tuff, but that one was so odd, because it looked like a pic you’d find on the cover of some gay porn mag, so he got it for me as a joke. But, what makes this pic so funny is that a couple of weeks after receiving it, we watched the “South Park” movie and during the gay sex scene between Satan and Saddam, that exact same pic of Van Damme can clearly be scene on the wall of Satan’s bedroom! Needless to say, we had a large laugh!

Here is my DVD collection, 1207 and counting! You may be wondering “why does he have so many DVD’s?”, the answer is simple…I’m extremely single! So basically, I’m dating myself! I take myself on dates to Best Buy often! Myself likes taking Myself there usually on Sundays, right when the new newspaper ads come out, Sundays are usually our date night.

You obviously see the various autographed pics I have, again, they are all gifts from friends. My friends have a running joke with that, they usually try to get me pics of actors I dislike, more than ones I like, on purpose. Usually it’s a 3 to 1 ratio on purpose! So one year, I was rewarded with Robert Deniro, but punished with Vern Troyer, Martin Short and Bill Cosby…yes, I’m one of the few Americans who hates the Cos! I got 2 words for ya…“Ghost Dad”, oh wait, 3 more… “Leonard Part 6”. Terrible movies!

I have some of my DVD’s autographed, like “Shakes the clown”, the Bobcat Goldthwait classic. When I met him, I think he was shocked that A.) I didn’t bombard him with “Police Academy” DVDs like everyone else and B.) That I had actually seen the movie, let alone own it! That movie is the very definition of a “black comedy”. Little known fact…on R.E.M.’s album “New Adventures in Hi-Fi”, the song title “Binky the doormat” was taken from the memorable line in the movie, because Michael Stipe is a large fan of the film. I also have my “Back to the future” trilogy signed my non-other than Thomas F. Wilson, better Known as Biff/Griff/Buford “Mad Dog” Tannen, pretty huge huh?

Music is one of my hobbies and in my studio I have a large collection of posters hanging around for inspiration. “Karate Kid” kicks ass, flat out! It’s one of my favorite films from my childhood and still is today. Check out these “tiger beatish” pics of Ralph Macchio, too funny right! When I saw those, I thought they were so odd, I had to have them!

I have 2 from the movie “Big trouble in little china” another one of my favorite films, Kurt Russell is the man and an under-rated actor! One of those is a rare print from Belgium or Hungary or somewhere close to there.

The Star Wars collage is pretty bitching too, it has all the characters from all 6 movies in one big class photo. Kinda funny and cool at the same time.

Then of course, “Gymkata”…what more can I say about it? If you haven’t seen it, you are missing out. It’s the quintessential awesomely bad movie from the 80’s! When the movie’s star is Kurt Thomas, a real life Olympic Gold Medal Gymnast, and this is his first attempt at acting, you know you are in for a treat! Infact, I’m such a fan of this film, that I’m one of people responsible for getting it on DVD! There was a contest online awhile back, where people got to vote for what old movie they wanted to see make it to DVD, I signed the online petition and a couple of months later, Gymkata won by a small margin!

My favorite corner of the room, my ladies! Laura Linney and Gillian Anderson! (Imagine how happy I was when they announced the casting for the “House of Mirth”!) You people can have your Jessica Albas’ and Paris Hiltons’. Gillian is the one for me! Once she dumps that current loser boyfriend she has, and she hooks up with me, she’ll understand! BTW, got X-Files movie premiere passes? You could make my dream a reality! Funny fact on Gillian, apparently one of her relatives lives in Lincoln, NE, where I live. She’s been spotted before at our local Best Buy, buying some punk CD’s, some how though, our paths haven’t crossed yet…course they could…so again, got X-Files movie premiere passes?

I thought besides my home, I should show you my other home, my office at work. I’m there 8 hours a day at my hospital job, so it only makes since, since it’s like a second home. I have a nice collection of “Freddy” and “Jason” figures and some other funny or cool bobble heads on my desk of various movie icons.

I have several X-Files posters up at work too. It’s nice to have them at work, because we all know what it is like to work an 8 hour, stress filled day with paper work, so to look around and see posters that remind you of what makes you happy, is really cool to have. As opposed to boring artwork or bullshit “motivational saying” pictures that many offices have!

The also love the new re-birth of the Batman franchise, so I have to have some of those posters around. The one poster with Batman’s wings spread out is 4 ½ feet by 5 feet, it’s frick’n huge and heavy! Again, thanks to my boss for being so cool.

So that’s some of my shit, hope you enjoyed it! I know I do!