See Spot Run

A goofy postman offers to baby-watch his sexy neighbor’s kid (a neighbor for whom he cares for deeply, BTW) but ends up in over his head when a stray dog also enters the picture. Unbeknownst to them, the dog is actually a FBI agent’s drug-sniffing pooch who just escaped the witness relocation program and is being chased by mobsters intent on whacking him out. Ooooooh, that same ol’ story again! 🙂

This is not so much of a “bad” movie, as it is just a movie that we’ve seen a thousand times before. The dog with the “super” powers, the bumbling bad guys after him, the nice goofy dude who loves his next door neighbor, but is afraid to tell her, the cute kid who you feel really sorry for, especially when he cries, etc… It’s also a kid’s movie, which I generally don’t bother reviewing since my sensibilities and those of 10-year olds are not exactly on the same plane, but every now and again, I like to take a stab at one. I guess this one wasn’t an awful one to check out, since it did actually have a few funny moments, a nice performance by Michael Clarke Duncan and a darn cutey-patootie kid, but sadly the film on the whole, relies too much on fart, caca jokes and pratfalls for laughs. Then again, isn’t that what kids want? It’s basically HOME ALONE with a dog! The difference being that with the latter film, you actually gave a crap about the kid in question, and the premise was somewhat believable and sometimes even…touching.

This movie isn’t necessarily as mean-spirited as some of the other gross-out flicks that have come out over the past couple of years, but there certainly wasn’t much in the characters for anyone to truly identify with. Of course, the basic idea of any of these kids movies is simply…will it make kids laugh? I guess in that sense, some of the stuff in this film will definitely work for the toddlers, as sight gags, over-the-top antics and many a goofy character permeate the movie, but not really enough to recommend it on the big screen, I’m afraid. If you wanna tie up the children for an easy ninety minutes on a lazy Sunday afternoon, there are worse ways to do it. Of course, don’t expect the film to change their lives, or give them any further insight into the human condition as we know it, but I think ya’ll hear what I’m saying here. Adults, stay away from this one, it’s not for you, and kids, well, see it if the parents want you to. Otherwise, no big loss.

Oh and by the way, if you don’t like David Arquette and “the character” that he redundantly plays in all of his movies, stop seeing his goddamn movies! I mean, am I the only one who’s sick of people complaining about him playing the same character over and over again? Dudes/dudettes, if you don’t like him, don’t see his movies. Simple as that. Personally, I don’t mind his “goof character”, but then again, I don’t really think about David Arquette all that much. Courteney Cox on the other hand…

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian