Say It Isn’t So

A local boy falls from a local girl who turns out to be his sister. The two split but the boy later finds out that he might not be her brother after all and chases after the girl. Of course, by then, the girl is already engaged to be married to a millionaire dude, and well, supposed hilarity ensues. I stress the word “supposed”…

There are many films that can be described as “stupid funny”, but this movie is just plain “stupid stupid!” I think it’s time to officially christen an end to the Farrellization of comedic cinema. You know the formula: take one part dimwitted yet likeable leads, one part retarded or physically impaired co-stars, add many an over-the-top gross moment (this film features someone sticking their entire arm in a cow’s ass!), plenty of lame songs to kill time, Lyn Shaye and plenty of animals, and you’ve got the makings of a “Farrelly comedy”. Well, unfortunately for the kooky brothers, it appears as though their jig is finally up. Time to give back the keys, boys, let someone else give it a try. You see, the one element that also needs to be included in any comedy is well…comedy! You know, laughs, humor…things that make you go ha-ha! Now here’s a movie that starts off with a lame story, tosses in a super gross joke every twenty minutes, adds more lame story, features Heather Graham crying a few dozen times, and tries sooooo very hard to be funny, that’s it’s actually kind of excruciating to watch (Oh, so the town is called Beaver, eh? Haha, pretty funny). And didn’t Sally Field learn her lesson with BEAUTIFUL last year? Lady, take a break…your career radar seems to be malfunctioning. And what about Klein and Graham, you ask? Well, what can you say? It’s pretty obvious to anyone who watches this movie that both actors are extremely photogenic, but also, sadly lacking in much depth, personality or charisma. Talent? Well, that’s a toss-up, but I’d say that both actors aren’t exactly going for range in their careers with this one (think Freddie Prinze Jr. and be afraid…be very afraid!).

But enough putdowns, I mean what you really want to know as a reader is whether or not there were some genuinely funny moments in this film, right? Well, the answer to that question is a resounding “yes”…but with a qualifier. There were exactly three laugh-out loud scenes in this movie (hence the 3/10) and a few smirks here and there. The funniest part of the film was the father with the stroke and Voc-A-Lator strapped ’round his neck, played brilliantly by the under-appreciated Richard Jenkins. Now despite that bit being ripped off the SOUTH PARK series to begin with, it was still pretty funny, but for some strange reason, sadly underused. It just goes to show how the makers of this film simply did not know what to do with all this guacamole, as some inexplicably “serious moments” somehow made it into this movie as well. Did they honestly want us to get into this lame-ass story? I mean, c’mon fellas, I bought the whole brother-nailing-his-sister thing, but keep it light, keep it funny and keep it stupid, but stay away from the serious stuff, for God’s sakes…this ain’t the place for that! In the end, the movie simply didn’t work for many reasons, the lack of story, the lack of characterization, the lack of empathy for anyone in the movie, and most importantly for any comedy…the lack of laughs! Like I said earlier, there’s stupid funny and then there’s just plain stupid, and unfortunately for the filmmakers, which include the Farrelly brothers (who have made no effort to distance themselves from this project and therefore deserve some of the blame), this movie is just stupid.

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian