Sad day for JoBlo

Hasn’t
my life been difficult enough over the past 2-3 years, struggling
with my health, trying to get better, so that I can get back out
there and enjoy the world and my life? Sure, I’m better than I was
last year, but is this the sort of news that I really needed to hear
today…I mean, really?!? Sorry folks, I realize this has ZERO to do
with movie news per se, and it probably belongs more on MovieHotties.com
than JoBlo.com, but I’ve received a bunch of "condolence"
emails this morning, and have to to admit, that I’m still in a
little bit of shock over all this. The news? Well…

Actress
Salma Hayek has announced that she is 1) engaged to French
businessman Francois-Henri Pinault and 2) she’s preggers with the
guy’s child.

Now
you must be saying to yourself, this French dude must be the cat’s
meow and more, right? I mean, this is a lady who dated actors Edward
Norton and Josh Lucas for all those years, and placed restraining
orders on my assertive ass. Well, CLICK
HERE to see some pictures of this man whose company apparently
owns Gucci and Yves St-Laurent. He looks kinda like my grandpa, but
I guess that’s what Salma-sita is into. Sigh. I guess I never stood
a chance.

In
case any of you were wondering, Salma is 40 years old and this would
be her first marriage and first child. Pinault is 44 years old and
you and I both don’t really care how many ex-wives or kids he has,
because he sucks…on ice. But I’m not gonna brood for too long,
fellow schmoes…I had my shot and I blew it!! (more on that HERE)

Sadly,
the best that I could muster up at that time was something along the
lines of "being a fan" or some shit. Why didn’t I tell her
that I owned a company or something? Why didn’t I simply ask her out
for an airport coffee or something? Or tell her that I spoke French?
Sigh…what a bummer.

What could have been…

Anyway,
thanks to everyone for the condolence emails and even more, for
supporting my creepy obsession about Ms. Hayek over all these years.
This event won’t change all that much in my eyes, I mean, if
anything this would mean that her giant boobs are only gonna get
bigger for the next few months, but this does seem to cut
down my actual chances of a date with the lovely Latin actress, and
for that, I will take a few shots tonight and try to forget (and by
shots, I mean "shots to the head", delivered by one angry
Arrow).

Here
are a few pictures of Salma, pre-pregnancy, so that we can always
remember her that way. Seriously though, everyone at JoBlo.com
wishes Salma all the best with her pregnancy and…well, maybe not
that "marriage thing", but we sure want her to have a
healthy and happy baby. Sorry man…I’m not there yet.