Last Updated on July 30, 2021
OUR FRIEND was previously reviewed at TIFF 2019 under the title THE FRIEND.
PLOT: A man (Jason Segel) moves in with his married best friends (Casey Affleck and Dakota Johnson) after the wife is diagnosed with terminal cancer.
REVIEW: A good tear-jerker is tough to pull off. For every About Time or Manchester by the Sea, there’s a half-dozen bad examples like Life Itself, as the tendency in these movies is to get mawkish and overly sentimental. At the same time, you don’t want to be strident about situations that real people deal with every day, such as terminal illness, so it takes a good balance. Add Our Friend to that preciously short list of good, solid tear-jerkers, with this a delicately crafted tale of love and loss that, at times, is like a masterclass in how to do these movies just right.
Based on the rather touching article by Matthew Teague (read it here but grab tissues first), who’s played here by Casey Affleck, this movie is both a tribute to the devotion that comes with marriage, but also the very real love one friend can feel for another. Indeed, you can’t ask for a better friend than Jason Segel’s Dane, who puts his life on hold for years to come and care for his two best friends and their kids while they deal with the imminent death of their beloved wife and mother, Nicole, played by Dakota Johnson.
In a smart move, the film flashes back and forth between the brutal days of Nicole’s illness and episodes from their earlier lives, such as when Nicole initially befriended Dane when he was a shy nice guy she lovingly shot down when he asked her out, due to the fact that she was already married. We see him hit it off with the often grumpy Matthew, with perhaps the film’s only real fault being that we’re denied a scene where the relationship is solidified – we’re just told the two become best pals.
From there, we see the ups and downs in Matthew and Nicole’s marriage intercut with Dane’s struggles with depression, with him stuck in a never-ending series of dead-end jobs while struggling to meet the right woman. Segel’s found a wonderful balance here, with him playing closer to type than he did in The End of the Tour or The Discovery, with his Theo a likable, funny guy that’s a blast for everyone to be around, even if his outgoing nature masks his struggles in life. This is the perfect role for him, allowing him to be both funny but also serious as needed- basically, it’s the kind of role someone like Robin Williams would have played and he nails it.
Affleck also plays relatively close to type as the serious husband, but like in Manchester by the Sea, he also conveys a real sense of warmth, and you believe him as a loving partner and father. In some ways, Johnson has the most grueling part, with her having to play both the lovely, kind family woman and also a brutally ill cancer patient. It’s worth noting that the depiction of cancer here is among the most unvarnished to be shown on film, showing how her mental faculties start to go as she gets sicker, lashing out brutally at Dane and Matthew.
I think the realism here is due to several factors, including Teague’s involvement, with him listed as an executive producer (alongside none other than Ridley Scott) and the script by Brad Ingelsby, of Out of the Furnace. It’s also likely due to accomplished documentarian Gabriela Cowperthwaite at the helm. It’s always interesting to see a female director tackle a male-dominated story (although there are plenty of great female roles in it – including Johnson and small but pivotal roles for Gwendoline Christie and Cherry Jones). In the past, that got us one of the best bro action movies of all time (Point Break) and now gives us what’s bound to become a classic “guy cry” flick – right up there with Brian's Song. See it with your best friend folks. This movie will leave you wrecked.
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