REVIEW: Here we go again…
Seriously folks, is there anyone out there that was chomping at the bit for another PIRATES after AT WORLD’S END came out four years ago? Granted, the first installment of the series was a fun frolic on the high seas, boosted by a tremendously charismatic star turn from Johnny Depp, which in turn made him a full-on superstar, and got him a well-deserved Oscar nomination. But the sequels? Sure, they made money, but did anyone even like DEAD MAN’S CHEST or AT WORLD’S END? I sure didn’t, and by the time the credits rolled on the last film, I was totally done with Jack Sparrow and crew.
Still, I hoped that the fourth installment might be a rebound for the once entertaining series, more in line with the first film than parts 2 and 3. Alas, that was not to be, as everything that was wrong with those films is here too, only more-so. Messy, unfocused storyline? Check. Boring action scenes? Check. Over-length? Check. Jack Sparrow being sidelined in his own movie? Check.
Let’s start with the storyline. Obviously, some effort has been made to scale back on the scope of the films, with the lower-key Rob Marshall taking over for the lavish Gore Verbinski, and the story being far more bottled up. The thing is, where do you go when the last installment had your hero rise from the dead, and featured a climax that literally took place at the end of the world? Comparatively, a search for the fountain of youth seems boring, although it could have worked if the screenplay by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio had been less by the numbers, and the direction a little less by rote.
As bored as I was, director Marshall and Depp seem ever more so. I’m not a huge fan of Marshall’s (I thought CHICAGO was over-rated, and I loathed NINE), but I hoped he’d bring a bit of pizazz to the series. Sadly, this seems to have been a paycheck gig through-and-through, and that comes across on-screen. At least Gore Verbinski seemed to be trying to make a good movie. Here, Marshall’s just coasting, and the same goes for Depp, who does the same old-shtick.
That said, I can’t really blame him, as it’s amazing how marginalized the character is in this installment. If it wasn’t for Penelope Cruz as his marginal love interest (bringing a little much needed sex appeal now that Keira Knightley’s gone), he’d have almost no role at all. The ending is a particular shock, as the big Mano-a-Mano showdown actually goes to Geoffrey Rush, who, along with a solid Ian McShane as Blackbeard, seems to be the only one who actually gives a damn about making a good movie. I love Depp, but between this and THE TOURIST, I’m amazed at how much he’s phoning it in these days. The only time he seems to be having fun is during the tacked-on Keith Richards cameo- which happens early.
Of course, the whole thing’s in 3D, and to be fair, this is probably the best 3D I’ve seen in a while, although it doesn’t particularly add to the film. Marshall doesn’t seem to be enough of a visual stylist to really make it work, and considering 80% of it takes place at night, you’ll have a hard time making out a lot of the action.
It’s too bad ON STRANGER TIDES is such a miserable end to the franchise, if in fact it is the end. I suppose that all depends on how much money it makes. I have no doubt it’ll open big, but if the lukewarm reaction this received at the promo screening is any judge, word of mouth is going to be poison. Stay home and rent CAPTAIN BLOOD or THE SEA HAWK instead, and enjoy a real pirate movie (heck, even NATE & HAYES would do better than this).