Review: My Bloody Valentine 3-D

This time, the story remains the same for the most part (but there are twists my friend, at least compared to the original). You have the three leads, Sarah (Jaime King), Axel (Kerr Smith) and Tom (Jensen Ackles). Okay, so they tweaked T.J. to Tom, but I’m okay with that. And there is still that same old romantic triangle, but this time around, we also see the three when they were younger [eighteen-ish]. You see, Tom’s father owns the Hanniger Mines and it is Tom whose inexperience leads to a cave in that kills five miners. But one survived. Harry Warden survived by sticking the business end of his pickaxe in the heads of the other men in order to save oxygen. When they find Harry, he is in a coma but still alive. You know this guy is gonna wake up, and when he does, there is hell to pay. He goes on a killing rampage, taking out twenty-two people, and then disappearing into the mine. And all this is within the first fifteen minutes or so of the film. There is no skimping on action here. When the pickaxe falls, it rips out jaws, it drives through someone’s skull, I was utterly impressed at the many ways this weapon was used. And let’s not even talk about the shovel… you gotta see that one for yourself.

While movies like this were a dime a dozen back in the early Eighties, it is ridiculously surprising at how true MBV 3D is to the “golden age” of slasher films. Aside from the technology and the obviously modern take on a small town under siege by a psychotic miner, this felt like one of the b-movie classics. Yet the nudity, the gore and all the expectations of this kind of sub-genre are met with care and respect by true fans of horror. Writers Todd Farmer, Zane Smith and director Patrick Lussier handled this re-imagining with a lot of love. There is no torture here, and there is no self-referential bullshit. This is a balls to the wall slasher film that wears its label with pride. It pays tribute to the original by taking some of the best moments and giving them a twist without treating it like a joke. It is a grand thing to have the whodunnit angle return with a more than willing cast. And speaking of ready and willing, props must be given to Betsy Rue who spends almost her entire role naked when she comes face to face with the pissed off miner. This is one of the most memorable sequences in horror movie history and she is pretty damn tough when she ain’t wearin’ a stitch of clothing. What an awesome performance from this lovely lady.

Now I’m not saying this is necessarily a brilliant film. But I am saying that it is a damn fine horror flick that knows exactly what it is. Yet it still has the courtesy to tell a story, and even have a bit of a character arc. How refreshing is it to have a movie like this offer up a believable enough relationship between the three leads. And then you have to add a spot-on supporting cast including the lovely Ms. Rue and the legendary Tom Atkins. Need I say how damn cool it is to see Mr. Atkins again. He is always in fine form, especially as a rugged detective who witnesses what Harry Warden left in his bloody wake. The hospital sequence is down right creepy, especially with the power of 3D. Oh and don’t worry, I’ll get to the 3D soon enough. But the truth is, I would like this film in 2D, because I’m a sucker for those early slasher film, and you don’t come much closer to a true Eighties homage than this. This reminded me why I like horror movies so much in the first place.