Synopsis: Stuck in a rudderless marriage, Nick and Audrey Spitz are about to liven things up with a trip to Europe for their anniversary. But before they can enjoy the sites and eat even one plate of pasta, the two are roped into a murder mystery where they are the prime suspects.
Review: Adam Sandler has quite a sweet deal going on. Again and again, he’s been able to go on what must amount to a multi-million-dollar vacation and bring along all his friends for the ride, only under the condition that a 90-100 minute movie be cranked out by the end. In his latest outing, MURDER MYSTERY, he’s paired once again with Jennifer Aniston (JUST GO WITH IT) as the two are whisked off to Europe as husband and wife, getting into all sorts of shenanigans across beautiful backdrops. While I’m sure it was quite the magical experience on set, whatever it is they cranked out is something that possesses no mystery and only a scattering of chuckles. and something that will sway only the most steadfast of Sandler's fans.
Wasting no time getting to their vacation, Nick and Audrey Spitz are quickly set up as a married couple who have had the excitement ripped from their lives. Nick is a police sergeant who fails to pass his detective’s exam once again, but even afterward doesn’t seem to care beyond making his wife upset. Audrey, a hair stylist, wants nothing more than for Nick to dazzle her like he once did, hoping he will one day take her to Europe. But rejoice, for they do go to Europe, though soon after meeting a mysterious, rich, impossibly handsome Englishman named Charles (Luke Evans) they find themselves framed for murder when his vicious uncle, Malcolm (Terence Stamp) is murdered on a boat.
While I can’t imagine anyone anywhere will be watching this for the story, a movie called MURDER MYSTERY should at least some sort of internal logic that gets some actual mystery out of it all. But perhaps that's too much wishful thinking here. So as to not skimp on the sun, breeze and European streets, Nick and Audrey are able to walk around in leisure and attend lavish parties despite everyone being so sure they committed the murder, even paling around with the people who blamed it on them in the first place. There's no evidence or real motive for their "crimes" and yet they're the most wanted people around. Even they don't seem to care that much, as the two attempt to prove their innocence with the drive and narrative propulsion of “Hmm, I wonder who could’ve done it. We need to look around for clues,” leading them from one poorly executed attempt at schtick after another. This is not so much a spin on the game Clue, but rather a site-seeing trip where two people just so happen to be wanted for murder.
Sandler is far from invested, exuding the exact energy of a Tommy Bahama shirt and a pair of sunglasses, casually mumbling insults and punchlines. Nick is, in virtually every sense of the meaning, a terrible police officer. He doesn’t seem to flinch or care when the billionaire whose yacht they’re on is shot, setting the “mystery” part of the title in motion. Instead, he begins lazily listing all the steps they should take after the murder, all before taking a massive container of shrimp to his room where he can gorge and take a nap. His whole vibe from start to finish is “Hey, I know all this shit is going down, but we’re on vacation, so don’t ruin the buzz.” Several times his character talks about how he’s either “Tired as shit” or “Hungry as shit,” which may have been the camera just rolling between takes.
Aniston, on the other hand, has enough energy to make up for Sandler’s lack thereof, taking on the actual mystery solving as a fan of all kinds of crime novels. Perhaps the angle was that he's so bad at his job while she's secretly good at it, but this concept that he's the bumbling cop and she the sleuth never gets taken advantage of amid the low-energy story and comedy. Still, her commitment makes up for the fact there’s no real conflict between Nick and Audrey beyond the usual marriage banter, which the two leads admittedly do well enough. If MURDER MYSTERY does anything, it reaffirms that even in the darkest of times Aniston provides much-needed light.
Several other great actors are here for the schtick, with Evans trying to get as much out of his suspicious viscount character, despite being woefully underutilized. Same goes for Gemma Arterton as actress Grace Ballard, who takes on what must be the femme fatale role with at least some over-the-top playfulness, again, disappointingly underused. The rest are saddled to characters whose main quality is that they speak in funny accents, like Adeel Akhtar, a Maharaja whose one-note gag is he acts like Ali G.
Despite everything this movie offers on the surface, I still had some hope after seeing James Vanderbilt’s name on the screenplay credit. Responsible for writing one of the best detective thrillers ever in ZODIAC, it’s truly an anomaly to think this movie is from the same writer. Even the smallest intricacies of mystery and logic escape every plot point, and the humor is listless, cheap and only for the least demanding of viewers, all to the point where I wouldn't be shocked if this was the first thing he ever wrote and simply dusted it off, handed it over and said "Go wild." He’s too good for this and I hope he realizes it and gets back to real work on whatever he’s got next.
Now, I refuse to jump on the bandwagon that Sandler himself is a bad actor or unfunny. On the contrary, he’s an incredibly gifted talent who can effortlessly glide between fits of wild hilarity and complex emotion. That’s why watching movies like MURDER MYSTERY upsets me so much. He is capable of so much more but has found himself in a raging current of listless, uninspired, braindead comedies wherein he himself couldn’t seem less interested. Even though he has casual, appealing chemistry with Aniston, that in no way stops his latest from finding itself on the scrap heap with all his other recent efforts. Maybe next time he wants to take an expensive vacation he can spend millions of his own dollars, take all his friends on the most luxurious trip anyone has seen and give them the time of their lives; just make sure to leave the cameras at home.