PLOT: When a young couple is attacked by bikers on the beach, all hell breaks lose. The woman finds herself desperate to take a little revenge which leads to her own murderous journey. Eh, who the f*ck am I kidding, there really there is no plot… this is just an absolute mess.
REVIEW: Let’s face it, DANGEROUS MEN is beyond bad. We are talking THE ROOM, TROLL 2 and PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE bad. Your personal enjoyment of this disaster will depend on your love of trashy cinema. Thankfully, the occasional garbage flick isn’t the worst thing in the world, even if it may be one of the most terrible films ever made. And this flick is terrible, on nearly every level. The editing is abysmal, the acting is atrocious, and the score is outrageously bizarre. It is bad synth taken to a while new level. And all of this is thanks to one man, a filmmaker by the name of John S. Rad. He is the writer, director, producer, composer, cinematographer, editor, production designer and the set decorator. At least we know who is responsible for this.
Describing this story is nearly impossible. First off you have a young couple on the beach hassled by mean and nasty bikers. After the boyfriend is killed, the woman suddenly decides to go to a motel room with one of her attackers. You see, she has plans for that sleazy bastard. In fact, after she has her revenge, she meets up with a prostitute and discovers a way to get back at all the bad men in the world. And then there is another gentleman who is a friend of hers, I think, and he is trying to figure out what happened to her and her boyfriend. Meanwhile, his partner isn’t giving his girl enough lovin’ and you know he must appease his lady – so that is hardly a plot point, but it made me laugh. And then there is some biker leader named Black Pepper (a big blonde dude) who apparently is bad, but all we really see him do is have sex with some chick, and then get involved in a long and tedious chase. Plot? Hardly.
Considering this insane piece of work took well over two decades to complete and the script is a mess, you can’t really complain about the performances. In fact, mentioning their names seems like a waste of time and possibly an embarrassment to them. This gloriously terrible film is the fault of one man only. For better or worse, this is John S. Rad. It is his film in every way. The bizarre vignettes that are scattered throughout, including an unfortunate married man who winds up in the middle of the desert naked. And then there is the victim turned killer who barely registers a transition. However, when she meets up with a prostitute in hopes to find out how she could possible get that job is brilliant. This may be one of the most entertainingly awful moments on film I’ve seen in quite awhile. And the ending? There are no words for how anticlimactic and just plain stupid it is.
With so many characters involved in this feature film fiasco, it isn’t at all surprising that you don’t connect with any of them. The women are exploited, the men are just morons, and you can’t help but laugh out loud at what they are forced to contend with. In fact, I can’t think of any single moment that inspired any sort of tension or suspense. This is a bad script. The editing is nonsensical. But somehow, if you are in the right frame of mind, you may find a whole lot of joy disappearing into this embarrassment of a movie. If you are looking for a comedy, there are few film’s as unintentionally funny as this. Hell, every damn time I heard that repetitive score it put a big smile on my face.
Thank you Drafthouse Films for introducing us to what is certainly one of the worst films ever made. And no, that is not hyperbole. This is atrociously bad filmmaking. The single good thing this film has to offer is a bunch of laughs from an audience. And if you are slightly inebriated, you may be all the better for it. You do have to give a little credit to John S. Rad. Intentional or not, this is a devastatingly amateur film and it is unapologetic in it’s lack of style, substance, or anything good. So if you are looking for something that is bloody entertaining thanks to its awfulness, this may be just what you need. While the movie absolutely deserves something less than a one – on a scale from one to ten – perhaps in the right frame of mind it may be a seven. However, I’m sticking this at the very bottom.