REEL ACTION: The Marine 2, starring Ted DiBiase Jr.

Last Updated on July 26, 2021

THE MARINE 2 (2010)
Rating: 2 out of 4 /Buy the DVD Here

Tagline: A trip to paradise became a mission only a marine could handle.

Directed by: Roel Reiné
Starring: Ted DiBiase Jr., Temuera Morrison, Lara Cox and Michael Rooker

THE PLAN: Vacationing couple Joe and Robin have make the unfortunate decision to travel to Thailand for some R + R on the same weekend that some angry separatists decide to take a luxury hotel hostage. It sure is a good thing Joe (Ted DiBiase Jr.) is a marine sharpshooter – plus his wife is one of the hostages, which gives him extra incentive to kick ass.

THE KILL: It’s been a while since I’ve seen a straight-forward DIE HARD rip-off like THE MARINE 2. In a way, it’s refreshing. The 90s were filled to the brim with them, but lately it seems like we’ve gotten away from the old “terrorists take hostages at a specific location; only one man can stop them” routine. This flick follows the formula pretty damn faithfully, although it really doesn’t have the humor or imagination of DIE HARD; no easy task I know, but still, it makes THE MARINE 2 mostly joyless experience.

Part of the problem is Ted DiBiase, Jr. Looking like the slow lovechild of Channing Tatum and Tony Romo, DiBiase obviously wasn’t hired for his magnetic charisma or subtle acting skills. He’s a WWE wrestler (and son of legendary Ted DiBiase), and this is a WWE joint, so naturally, the company aims to make him a B-list action star like the first Marine, John Sena. Sena has a semblance of talent in front of the camera, however. DiBiase mumbles and glares, very rarely changing gears. He looks believable when he’s punching a guy, though.

The trailer, which brings up the first film even though it’s completely unrelated.

Temuera Morrison and Michael Rooker – two actors I admire and enjoy watching – are mostly wasted here. Morrison plays the lead villain, who has a chip on his shoulder over a resort being built on his homeland. A decent-enough motive, but the character has nothing to do but issue statements and be vaguely pissed off. A movie like this needs a villain you truly can’t stand, or even kind of like, and he’s neither – just a device. Rooker is an ex-soldier who does odd jobs on the island where all this carnage goes down, so naturally he’s roped into being a hero in the second half. Yes, Rooker is a good guy, with minimal over-acting or cackling. I love Rooker, but when I see him in a movie, I want him going nuts, dammit!

“For the last time, Ted, you’d better let go of that thing. I’m not that kinda guy.”

On the plus side, the film is beautiful to look at. When we’re in “calm before the storm mode”, we get many a sweeping scenic aerial shot. The locations in general are top-notch, and the production design, cinematography, and technical credits all around are much better than you’d expect for this kind of thing. Director Roel Reiné keeps things moving at a steady pace (although the first act moves pretty slowly) and choreographs the action fairly well. The ass-whopping is adequate but hardly exceptional, and only the least-demanding action buff is going to be truly satisfied.

“Okay, thought you were Channig Tatum, I was wrong, can I go now?”

TOP DEATH: A dude impaled on a bamboo reed and then blown up makes for a good demise. That’s how I want to go out, anyway…

TOP ACTION: A three-way smack-down between Joe and two flipping, kicking bad guys is actually a pretty impressive little sequence.

FEMALE EXPLOITATION: Lara Cox is plenty sexy as Joe’s wife, but she never gives us the goods. Bah.

HOMOEROTIC MOMENT: None really, which is odd. I mean, this is Thailand – where are all the ladyboys?!

TOP DIALOGUE: “You’re a worm who thinks he’s a crow.” (I actually think they stole that one from my mom.)

DRINKING GAME: If you take a shot every time Ted DiBiase dodge an explosion, you’ll be drunker than an American businessman in Thailand by the end.

TRIVIA: Wrestler Randy Orton was originally offered the role, but he got injured in a match and couldn’t do it.

Director Roel Reiné is currently working on the DEATH RACE prequel.

DVD FEATURES: There are a plethora of behind-the-scenes looks at the film’s action sequences, featurettes on the exotic locations, a bio on Ted DiBiase Jr. and his father, and perhaps most interesting, uncut B-roll footage from the flick’s “Muy Thai” fight sequence. Overall, a satisfying group of extras, especially if you’re into the film.

BUY THE DVD HERE!