IRON EAGLE (1986)
Rating: 3 on 4 / Buy the DVD here
Tagline: Break the sound barrier. Break the speed barrier.
Directed by Sidney J. Furie
Starring Louis Gossett Jr., Jason Gedrick, David Suchet, Larry B. Scott
THE KILL: There’s something about ’80s cheese that brings back a lot of heartwarming, good feelings inside me, and no better example of this is IRON EAGLE, a film that’s is slightly off the beaten path in terms of your typical REEL ACTION selection, but one that definitely fits the bill none the less, as not only is there some pretty awesome fighter jet sequences, but nobody seems to blink an eye when blowing up the enemy. In fact, dropping bombs and unleashing heavy artillery with automatic weapons is done as casually and effortlessly as ordering a burger with fries. Ah, the ’80s….
The entire movie is spent convincing Doug here that THAT is NOT a real plane.
In true ’80s fashion, one of the biggest highlights is the film’s soundtrack and the way the music is represented throughout. Instead of playing quietly in the background with the characters on screen unaware that music is even playing at all (like most movies), the music in IRON EAGLE is kicked off with the switch/load of Doug’s walkman, as the kid has a mix tape / song for every occasion. Racing some punk kid on a motorcycle through the mountainside while flying a plane? There’s a song for that. Flying a jet and engaging in target practice? There’s a song for that. Planning a covert rescue mission with one Colonel and a bunch of your buddies? There’s a song for that. And finally, blowing up the enemy compound and rescuing your P.O.W. father? Yep… there’s a song for that, too.
And not only is there simply a song blaring in the background, but each time one comes up it’s as if a whole new music montage is kickstarted into overdrive. Which, of course, is flipping awesome and essential to entertainment in the ’80s. Take out all the awesome music and montages, and IRON EAGLE simply wouldn’t be the same viewing experience.
“Then I had her bent over like this, see? And just before I shoved my entire fist up her cornhole, her twin sister came into the room. That, my friend, is where the story gets interesting…”
Let’s talk about characters for a moment. There’s really two main motherf*ckers here, the first being Doug, played by Jason Gedrick. He’s your typical cocky and just darn likable high school kid. He’s determined to rescue his Dad and that’s damn admirable. But his obsession with mix tapes is slightly overbearing and let’s face it… he’s not quite badass enough. Then again, after he throws down and beats Mr. Motorcycle at his own game, he still doesn’t take any shit from that dude and knocks his f*cking teeth out. So while I guess he was badass in his own right afterall, he wasn’t quite the superbadass you’d expect.
Superbadass, of course, goes to Louis Gossett Jr. aka Chappy. Chappy is one badass motorscooter who talks the talk and walks the walk. In true Gossett form, Chappy is a fast talking, fast thinking badass that has this presence about him that simply says “don’t f*ck with me.” This is the kind of guy you want on your side when flying into enemy territory for your first taste of battle. He’s a teacher and a soldier and even when he’s dancing to the beat of his jukebox, he’s still pretty f*cking hardcore. If you dig Gossett here, be sure to check out AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMEN where he plays a drill sergeant who likes to scream, yell, and drop F-bombs. Classic.
And finally, the action. Let’s talk about it. There are only two scenes of battle / action in the film. The opening scene when Doug’s Dad is shot down and taken prisoner, and the final scene when Doug and Chappy fly in for the rescue. For those who enjoy aerial combat, you’ll probably enjoy yourself here, although nothing is groundbreaking or particularly epic about any of these sequences. What’s awesome, though, is the editing of when they decide to blow shit up.
You better effin’ recognize, yo!
The second a bomb is dropped, before it conceivably has time to really let fly, the enemy’s plane, compound, assault tower, or tank explodes with extreme force of fire and flames. It’s almost ridiculous how fast things move in IRON EAGLE when it comes to blowing shit up, as if the instant the trigger is pulled, shit explodes. But it’s that extreme force that catapults IRON EAGLE into REEL ACTION status because Doug and Chappy f*ck shite up during their assault, blowing the enemy away without blinking an eye… just the we like it. Just how vast is their body count? Almost unaccountable if you assume each ground explosion takes out 5-10 enemy peeps. And that’s kind of a lot.
While IRON EAGLE is PG-13 and doesn’t feature any T&A, nor does it have gun fights, car chases, hot naked chicks, or the extreme unflinching violence we like to feature here on REEL ACTION, it’s the film’s take on blowing shit up to music montages and the fact that a high school kid steals a fighter jet to rescue his Dad behind enemy lines that places IRON EAGLE in the REEL ACTION ranks. Gossett is a badass and Gedrick does a solid job as kid with the feathered hair who stands up against the man and f*cks shit up in the process. If you’re looking for cheese that layers it along the lines of TOP GUN with a slightly more violent edge, then IRON EAGLE is for you.
VHS trailer for IRON EAGLE!
TOP DEATH: Most kills are done through nameless explosions so it’s hard to say one explosion was better than the other, but when the enemy General explodes in an aerial firefight it feels pretty damn good, and one of the only faces we see/meet who actually dies.
TOP ACTION SCENE: Doug throws on “Gimme Some Lovin’” and proceeds to blow away the enemy compound, taking out tanks, planes, control towers, and just about everything else in sight with enough explosions and firepower to satisfy even the most extreme pyromaniac. And having a rockin’ song playing in the Walkman definitely adds to the whole experience.
TOP HOMOEROTIC MOMENT:Chappy has Doug takes notes as he thinks out loud, having Doug follow him everywhere he goes including the shower. Sure, Doug waits outside, but Chappy almost seems to enjoy having Doug as his tale, which makes me think that there had to be some off-screen moments of Chappy dictating in other less-appropriate circumstances. And when Chappy starts dancing to the beats on his Jukebox, the camera holds a little too long on his shaking ass.
Just don’t call him gay to his face.
FEMALE EXPLOITATION: Sadly, there aren’t any females giving up the good stuff here. Doug’s girlfriend’s kind of a prude and even then we only see her for a few brief moments. Lame.
TOP LINE/DIALOGUE:
Chappy: Shut down that music!
Doug: It’ll screw up my rhythm.
Chappy: If you don’t shut it down, I’ll screw up somethin’ else!
DRINKING GAME: Every time Doug throws on some rockin’ tunes on his Walkman, thus starting another music montage, you have to drink!
TRIVIA: Emilio Estevez was, at one point, considered for the role of Doug.