Tag Line: Somewhere… somehow… someone’s going to pay!
Directed by Mark L. Lester
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, Alyssa Milano
THE KILL: If there’s any one Schwarzenegger movie I look back on with fond memories, it’s COMMANDO. Whether it’s because Arnold busts out the one liners like they’re going out of style, or the fact that he single handedly takes out an entire Latin American army, one thing is for sure: this movie helped propell Arnold into super stardum, and it could possible be one of the best action movies ever made.
What makes COMMANDO classic is the non-stop action formula that has been mimmicked and immitated ever since. Take one man, minus shirt, plus an extensive artilerary and a knack for taking life every way imaginable, and you have yourself one entertaining and kick-ass flick! Yet, no matter how ridiculous it gets, the feeling behind COMMANDO is that it’s a tale that could happen, and would likely happen if the same situation were to happen to you.
It’s been said Arnold kills over 80 people in this movie. This is true. But it’s done in a way that’s not malicious or cruel, but fun. Only in the 80s could you blow away that many people and have it be so socially acceptable! If done today, the censors would have a fit! Arnold was not only flexing his action muscles here, but also his impecable skill at delivering dialoge with a sense of humor – even at this early stage of his career, he wasn’t taking himself too seriously. That’s some serious skill right there.
Arnold may have gone on to be Governor, but it was COMMANDO that put him in the lime light. Where the action never stops, where the one-liners keep on coming, and where one man against many takes on a whole new meaning, COMMANDO delivers when it comes to 80s action goodness, and therefore deserves a spot in everyone’s DVD collection.
TOP DEATH: If killing an entire army of mercenaries with a machine gun single handedly wasn’t enough, Arnold’s use of saw blades, axes, pitchforks and machetes was the icing on the cake.
TOP ACTION SCENE: Arnold doesn’t care who’s in his way when it comes to killing bad guys. So when he spots his prey at the local mall, he not only kicks the crap out of an entire gang of security guards like they were rag dolls, but he rips a telephone booth out of the ground and uses it to show them who’s boss. Plus, he does what we’ve all wanted to do at one point or another: swing from a banner from one level to the next like Tarzan.
TOP HOMOEROTIC MOMENT: Arnold fighting main baddie Bennett with his shirt off in the end – the dialog exchange here is priceless:
Arnold: Come on Bennett, throw away the chicken shit gun, you don’t just want to pull the trigger, you want to put the knife in me, and look me in the eye, and see whats going on in there when you turn it, thats what you want to do, right?
Bennett: I can kill you John!
Arnold: Come on, let the girl go, just between you and me, don’t deprive yourself of some pleasure, come on Bennett, lets party!
Bennett: I can beat you, I don’t need the girl… I DON’T NEED THE GIRL!
FEMALE EXPLOITATION:After throwing Bill Duke through a hotel wall, the fight continues in the next room, where one topless chick with big boobies (played by world renowned sex therapist Ava Cadell) is lying in bed screaming… and she continues to scream throughout the rest of the fight. Needed? No! Is it appreciated? You bet!
TOP LINE/DIALOGUE:
Arnold: “Hey Sully, remember when I said I’d kill you last?”
Sully: “Yeah Matrix, You Did!”
Arnold: “I Lied!” (he then drops him off a cliff)
Bill Duke: “This Green Beret’s gonna kick your ass!”
Arnold: “I eat Green Beret’s for breakfast, and right now I’m very hungry!”
Bill Duke: "F*ck you, asshole." (pulls trigger at Arnold, but the gun is empty)
Arnold: “F*ck you, asshole!” (Arnold knocks the gun away and kicks his ass)
DRINKING GAME: Every time you see Alyssa Milano and NOT think ‘damn, I’d totally f*ck her now’, you have to drink!
TRIVIA:
During the scene in the shed, after Arnold cuts the soldier’s arm off, he was originally supposed to hit the victim with it and tell him to shut up. This scene was edited out as being too macabre. For shame! (Let’s hope this scene is in COMMANDO: THE DIRECTOR’S CUT, hitting DVD this September)