The upcoming biopic of Richard Simmons starring Pauly Shore took a big step forward earlier this week when it was announced that Jordan Allen-Dutton (Robot Chicken) had signed on to write the script, but the subject of the film isn’t having it.
“I just read that a man that I don’t know is writing my bio pic starring Pauly Shore,” Richard Simmons wrote on social media. “I do not approve this movie. I am in talks with major studios to create my own bio pic with some help. Wait for this movie.” Shore, who is still holding out hope that Simmons will embrace the project, wrote on Instagram that these words brought him to tears.
I was up all night crying regarding Richard Simmons’ tweet. Richard, how do you not approve of this movie? I mean, really, who’s better to play you in a movie than ME? Leonardo DiCaprio’s not gonna play you. Brad Pitt’s not gonna play you. I’m perfect. Everyone already thinks I’m you. We’re the same. Beautiful, inside and out.
“Richard, you haven’t even heard the pitch. Why don’t you simply let me come over to your house, bring you some warm matzo ball soup and a pastrami sandwich with dark mustard from Canters, rub your feet, and we can listen to the writer, Jordan Allen-Dutton, pitch you our idea?” Shore added. “I know you, Richard. We used to hang out back in the day. I’d always see you at The Comedy Store. You’re my old buddy. Richard, you’re going to love our movie. We’re going to make the most beautiful cinematic masterpiece that’s going to honor you in a way that you’ll drop to your knees and cry with joy and happiness.“
Shore added that it’s “amazing” that Simmons is talking with studios himself to develop a biopic. “The more movies about you, the better,” he said. “You deserve it. There should be hundreds made. Mine is going to turn out amaze-balls.“
At this point, I find it very unlikely that Simmons will warm up to the idea of Shore’s biopic project, especially as the typically reclusive fitness guru has expressed his displeasure on several occasions. Shore has already played Simmons in The Court Jester, a short film that quickly gained over one million views on YouTube in just 24 hours. Mark Wolper, who is producing the project, says it will be a “dramatic and heartfelt feature in the tone of Little Miss Sunshine.“