Ozzy: I’m not dead and I’m not going anywhere

It is with great joy and relief that we announce that Ozzy Osbourne is still alive. He’s pretty happy about it, too, but not terribly surprised by his own account. It was more of a shock for the heavy metal icon when one video popped up claiming that he did in fact die.

Although he’s certainly a mainstay in those awful annual celebrity death pools – now 75, Ozzy was recently diagnosed with Parksinon’s and led a hard road of drug and alcohol abuse (and snorting a line of ants can’t be great for the system, either) – the Prince of Darkness says he’s staying put. As he addressed on his family podcast, “I put it on and I died! The thing on YouTube, which goes, ‘Celebrities Who Have Died Today,’ and there’s a picture of me.” For those who didn’t pick up on the nuances, Ozzy reiterated, “I’m not dead…I’m not going any-f*cking-where and I’m going to go do some more gigs before I’m finished anyway.” He even threw in a pretty hilarious – and fitting – Monty Python reference, saying, “I’m not dead. I’m not really dead…just a little flesh wound.” He then presumably bit the head off of a killer rabbit.

Ozzy’s son, Jack, noted the support that his father gets from fans. “If you read the comments, everyone’s like, ‘This is bullsh*t. You should listen to him on the podcast. He’s f*cking fine. These people are f*cking liars. Stop writing fake news.’” Interestingly, Ozzy’s wife Sharon was also the victim of a premature obituary back in 2004.

Ozzy has proven resilient not just in keeping a pulse but remaining in pop culture for 50+ years. Outside of leading one of the most influential bands of their genre, Black Sabbath, Ozzy’s solo career spawned its own steady wave of incredible albums and singles like “Crazy Train”, “Bark at the Moon” and “Mr. Crowley”. (I’d also like to give a shout to my favorite of his, “Perry Mason”.) But many were introduced to the Osbournes through their namesake MTV reality show, in which you could catch occasional words through all of the bleeping.

An Ozzy Osbourne biopic has been on the table for quite some time. While the tone could go a couple different ways, it might best fit the style of Mötley Crüe’s The Dirt, in which Ozzy was played by Tony Cavalero.

What are your favorite Ozzy Osbourne or Black Sabbath songs? Give us your picks below!