Review: Dennis Gansel’s We Are the Night (2012)

Last Updated on July 23, 2021

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PLOT: An outsider is bitten and turned into a vampire by a covenant of lady vampires in Berlin. Now that she’s a newly-turned vamp, she must deal with not being able to see the sun again and her unquenchable thirst for blood.

REVIEW: Vampires movies are a dime a dozen these days and the “hot” subject of the horror genre, and while WE ARE THE NIGHT is more like THE LOST BOYS than TWILIGHT, it still falls into the category of a vampire movie that has all the superficial elements of what makes a vampire movie a vampire movie without the edge. Not that it’s the worse vampire movie in the world, but it is one that relies on “vampires being vampires” sequences rather than story or a plot line in which anything (something!) actually happens.

The one difference with this vampire tale is that, in this world, all the vampires on the planet (about 100 worldwide) are women—they’ve completely extinguished all the more-violent male vampires and have kept it a purely feminist movement ever since. Case in point, this trio of female vampires are hot and seductive and fulfill just about every stereotype you might have of super-hot vampire chicks. It’s in Europe, so of course they like to go to raves and party all night. They also love shopping, playing in the pool, and driving super-fast, super-expensive cars. And that’s pretty much it. Oh—and they like to snack on the occasional human to quench their thirst, but really… that’s only secondary for these vamps. First and foremost, these girls… just want to have fun.

And for that reason, my friends, is why WE ARE THE NIGHT falls flat on its stylishly-cool face. Their idea of a vampire movie is to sit around and have fun being a vampire. And while Lena (Karoline Herfurth) is trying to cope with her new lifestyle and has issues with killing people, there’s nothing that really happens in this movie, that is until the very end when a cop threatens to bring them all in, a cop that Lena (surprise, surprise) has the hots for and is secretly in love with. Of course she is. Then the big debate becomes to save this dude or to turn against her newly-formed vampire family. What a borefest.

But while nothing actually happens, I’ll give it to director Dennis Gansel for making a movie that has an interesting and stylishly cool look to it, with some fun effects and a number of entertaining action sequences (that end so fast that you’ll miss them if you blink). On a solely visual level, WE ARE THE NIGHT succeeds in every attempt to have the look and feel of a modern-day gothic music video, and something you could easily see being the next TWILIGHT of vampire movies… that is, if it weren’t for the lack of story (even TWILIGHT fans would be bored by this one).

And what’s a female-only vampire flick without blood and boobs? While there’s a splash of blood here and there, and plenty of blood leftover on chins, there really isn’t much gore to be found here. And as for boobs, there isn’t any of that going on in this movie either—that said, there are a few all-female make-out sessions between vampires that is sorta hot, but not hot enough to distract you into believing this movie is nothing more than a ho-hum attempt at being the next great vampire flick.

The alternate title could have easily been THE LOST GIRLS and they could have gotten away with it—these chicks love to shop and party and do all the things you would imagine girl vampires to do, minus any sort of conflict other than the newly-changed vampire adjusting to her new life. In other words, it’s THE LOST BOYS-lite, and while it definitely looked cool, it was hollow inside and provided nothing more than what’s on a superficial level of what a vampire movie should be.