Review: Like a Boss

No one should be surprised or curious about a movie like LIKE A BOSS. With a title that sounds like it was ripped from a trending hashtag, the bright poster showing two leads having tons of fun (while another is near them having none of it) and the release slot in the middle of January, this is the kind of comedy where you know instantly what you’re going get from your money or if you should steer clear without a second thought. But even for a comedy as atypical, harmless and offering nothing in the way of the slightest newness as this one, it at least shouldn’t be stupid, rudderless and sometimes painfully unfunny – all things LIKE A BOSS very much is.

At the forefront are best friends, Mia and Mel (Tiffany Haddish and Rose Byrne), who began selling their own makeup in high school and graduated into small business owners as adults. They live in the same house and have the kind of unshakeable bond where they talk on the phone even when they’re simply a hallway apart. They’ve been inseparable for years, and it shows as they do things for each other that I’m sure will ring very cute for best friends seeing the movie together, like Mel helping Mia put toothpaste on her toothbrush. But at their shop – Mia & Mel – the cuteness ends, as the pair have a classic odd couple scenario, with Mel being the only one to seemingly care about the financial stability of the business and Mia thinking the mission statement of inner beauty is all that matters. Putting all the toothpaste on all the toothbrushes in the world isn’t cute enough to validate why these two should be in business together.

As Mel lets Mia know – seemingly for the first time – that they’re almost $500,000 in debt and are about to go bankrupt, in walks beauty mogul Claire Luna (Salma Hayek) who offers to buy a massive stake in their store and wipe out their debt. Writers Sam Pitman and Adam Cole-Kelly fail to develop the plot beyond the depth of a half-hour sitcom, never quite justifying why a woman so successful and business savvy as Luna would want so badly to buy a small business with seemingly little name recognition, let alone one about to collapse. There’s a moment that tries to answer this, with Luna’s assistant Josh (Karan Soni) saying it’s because one of their ideas, the One Night Stand makeup kit, does well in online sales – but that’s thrown out the window when Luna tells the duo to cease production on the kit immediately. Is it a property value thing? Is it so she can change the name of the store to “M&M”, which is kind of funny?

Whatever the reason, Luna wants the company and works to get the two to fight with each other so that they break apart, leaving Luna to take over. She even says, out loud, as the two are signing a contract, that she included a clause that if the two of them split apart and one leaves the company, she will gain full control. She’s as bad as a lame action movie villain giving away the evil plot, except this one won’t attain her world domination or even one million dollars in ransom money. The only thing dumber than this plot device is, sadly, the two lead characters themselves. Even hearing Luna mention this condition, neither of them are smart enough to understand what’s Luna’s trying to do when she pokes at their fragile friendship with “I’m correct, and she’s wrong, right?” mind games. Luna is able to break them apart with very little, not-all-that-sinister effort, but really only through targeting Mel (the only one who cares about the money end of the business), with Mia having little to do except scold her at every opportunity. Perhaps worst of all is the waste of Hayek in the role, wearing what looks like uncomfortable prosthetics, only to come in here and there to poke at their dynamic, never getting a chance to be a colorful villain filled with schemes or even valid reasons to do what she’s doing.

All the hapless villain work means to put the characters in positions where their friendship crumbles so easily, and all they can do is say hurtful things towards each other and sometimes pull nastier pranks. Almost no time goes by before the two are tearing each other down, never taking for a moment to understand why it’s all happening and what Luna could be planning. Despite their friendship, they're so easily torn apart, and the script never relishes the opportunity to dig deeper into their various flaws and explore why their bond is in such a weak state – beyond the “one’s messy, one’s clean” schtick.

In their roles, Haddish and Byrne are a charming pair, the former bringing her brand of fire and energy while Byrne is a more awkward, dorky alternative, the two having welcome chemistry. They bounce off each other well with the dialogue-driven laughs, and the two are strong enough actresses that would've benefitted from stronger material. While Hayek doesn’t get to chomp into her role with the fake teeth she’s forced to wear, the rest of the supporting cast save what is otherwise a lifeless comedy, with Soni, Billy Porter, Jennifer Coolidge, Ari Graynor, Natasha Rothwell and Jessica St. Clair filling out the ensemble with terrific, much-needed humor and oddness. Porter steals the show, a voice of reason whose “witness my tragic moment” bit from the trailers is even funnier in full execution. If there is any reason to chuckle or believe LIKE A BOSS has anything new to offer, it's the work of the cast that almost makes it at least entertaining.

The cast all came to play, but even they are no good in the hands of director Miguel Arteta, who lends no sense of comedic energy or style beyond the attempt at shock value. At one moment our leads hideout on a roof after smoking weed in a baby’s room, only to inexplicably jump off into the pool as if being caught by their friends meant a life sentence at a maximum-security prison. Another finds Mel tricking Mia into eating some spicy peppers, leading her to drink goat milk, only to spit it out as if she was told she was drinking the goat’s urine. All these gags are tired and drag far beyond their limits, lacking in any sort of ingenuity or earn the R-rating, as if everyone involved watched any other January comedy and said, “Yep, that works for us.”

In the end, we’re supposed to learn the value of friendship as Mia and Mel plot a scheme way too clever for them to execute on the night of a big event thrown by Luna – but really all we should learn is friends really shouldn't be in business together. Because their friendship was tarnished so easily and their reunion so hasty — all because other people came in to remind them “yes, you are actually very good friends” — there was no room for any actual growth or message to take away. I feel like there was intent to chastise Mel for wanting so much to make the deal with Luna work, while Mia is portrayed as the level-headed one. They both have their faults and benefits, but neither takes the time to dig deep and find out what those are in each other. Perhaps there is a message in there about massive corporations tearing people apart, and how friendship can overcome anything, but without a glimmer of smarts and the shine of the cast only coming through so well, LIKE A BOSS turned out a mostly ugly, vapid comedy that's perfect for the release slot it's been given.