Review: All About Steve

Plot: Mary Horowitz (Sandra Bullock), a lonely, eccentric cross-word puzzle creator, is set up on a blind date with a TV news cameraman, named Steve (Bradley Cooper). It’s love at first sight for Mary, but when he tries to blow her off by heading out on an assignment- she stalks him across the country, insinuating herself into the stories he, and his egotistical reporter colleague Hartman (Thomas Haden Church) are covering, under the supervision of an exasperated network producer (Ken Jeong).

Review: The summer of 2009 was very good for both Sandra Bullock, and Bradley Cooper. She made a major comeback with THE PROPOSAL, and he broke into the big time with THE HANGOVER. Sadly, ALL ABOUT STEVE is not a worthy follow-up to either of those films, as this is easily one of the worst films I’ve ever had to review. It was so bad that after about thirty minutes, I was seriously considering walking out of the screening- but I figured that would be a really unprofessional thing to do, but this really tried my patience.

ALL ABOUT STEVE is bad on so many levels that I barely know where to start. For one thing, the premise is really creepy- with Bullock’s character supposed to be lovably eccentric, even though she STALKING the guy. There’s really NOTHING funny about stalking, yet someone thought it would make for a good rom-com. Riiiiight.

Another problem is that the film is supposed to be a comedy, but I honestly did not laugh once. Every single joke falls flat, and the film just meanders on, and on. Walking out of the theater, I was shocked to discover that I had only been sitting there for ninety minutes, as it felt like hours. Even worse- towards the end of the film, they decide to shift gears, and make this a dramedy, with lots of scenes that are supposed to be “touching”, revolving around Bullock getting trapped in an abandoned mine with some deaf kids- complete with a syrupy soundtrack obviously designed to pull at the heart-strings, but only succeeding in making this already putrid film even worse. How bad is it? Remember NORTH, the Rob Reiner movie that Roger Ebert hated so much that he named his book of pans after it (I HATED, HATED, HATED THIS MOVIE). This is NORTH-bad folks.

Probably the only redeeming feature about this is Ken Jeong, who once again manages to milk a few chuckles from even the worst scene. However, the three leads are all pretty bad, with Bullock faring worst- as she’s absolutely insufferable in the role (although she LOOKS great). Thomas Haden Church doesn’t fare much better, as the annoying reporter character, who of course, undergoes a transformation towards the end, and ends up being a nice guy after all (BOOOO). As for Cooper- suffice to say, this is no HANGOVER, and all he gets to go here is smile, and/or look exasperated.

I can’t stress this enough people- AVOID this movie at all costs. This is an absolutely horrible excuse for a comedy, and makes other Bullock vehicles like MISS CONGENIALITY look like minor masterpieces by comparison. If you want to get a Bullock fix, wait for THE PROPOSAL to hit DVD, or rent WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING. Trust me.

Grade: 2/10