Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Sharon Stone!

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

The Case

The Prosecution: Border Run, The Burma Conspiracy, Streets of Blood, $5 a Day, The Year of Getting to Know Us, If I Had Known I Was a Genius, Basic Instinct 2, Catwoman, A Different Loyalty, Cold Creek Manor, Picking Up the Pieces, Simpatico, Gloria, Sphere, Last Dance, Diabolique, Intersection, The Specialist, Sliver, King Solomon's Mines, Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Sharon Stone is known worldwide thanks to the infamous leg-crossing scene from Basic Instinct and has a Golden Globe sitting on her mantel for her performance in Casino. The prosecution believes Miss Stone is a talented actress (even though she has won a couple of Razzie Awards and some will say she isn't a particularly strong one), however she's been punching below her weight as of late in forgettable and poorly-reviewed movies.

While Catwoman and Basic Instinct 2 obviously didn't do anything to help her career, in the prosecution's opinion she should have been able to rebound from those critically-panned flops. But Miss Stone has always had an awful eye for picking movie roles, and in the almost decade since those two bombs, she has appeared in uninteresting and dull films like Border Run, Streets of Blood and $5 a Day. The actress isn't known for being the most friendly person, which more than likely has something to do with her recent straight-to-Wal-Mart-bin movies, but we feel she could be taking better roles than starring alongside Tom friggin' Arnold in The Year of Getting to Know Us.

The prosecution isn't sure if Miss Stone has been double secret blackballed by Hollywood or if she just needs a new agent, but one thing is for certain: the actress definitely deserves a lengthy stint in Movie Jail.

The Defense: Lovelace, When a Man Falls in the Forest, Bobby, Broken Flowers, Alpha Dog, Beautiful Joe, The Muse, The Mighty, Casino, The Quick and the Dead, Basic Instinct, Total Recall

Ladies and gentlemen, my client's filmography as of late isn't pretty; there's no getting around that. Miss Stone still has some gas in the tank though, and the defense believes she just needs to find the right role to prove she's still got it as an actress, which will help her land more solid movie roles than her recent ones.

But it hasn't been that long ago since she delivered a great turn in Alpha Dog, and the defense also thought she was quite good in Fading Gigolo, Lovelace, and When a Man Falls in the Forest. Miss Stone hasn't recently appeared in any "big" films, but at least she's been staying busy, and it's not like there are a ton fantastic movie roles being written for fifty-seven-year-old actresses.

If she has been exiled of sorts from Hollywood, it probably has more to do with her notorious reputation than her talents as an actress. My client can be a little difficult to work with and doesn't always say the smartest things, however it's not as if she is the first movie star to be a bit of a diva or say dumb things. The defense knows some jury members will want to lock Miss Stone up and throw away the key for her bitchiness and questionable comments, but that's not the purpose of Movie Jail. Although it could be argued that my client needs to go on probation for her recent output, the defense doesn't believe a lengthy prison sentence is necessary.

IN CLOSING…

What should we do with the sultry and salty actress? Has Miss Stone used up all of the goodwill she built up with Basic Instinct and Casino, or do you think she doesn't belong in Movie Jail? Is Sharon Stone GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?

*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?

LAST WEEK'S VERDICT

Elijah Wood was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, with jury members saying they've enjoyed his post-Lord of the Rings work, in particular FX's Wilfred and his Maniac remake. Most of the jury also said they have no problem with his recent films, even though a few of them have received low marks from critics.

PREVIOUS VERDICTS

GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer, Akiva Goldsman, Avi Arad, Damon Lindelof, Hayden Christensen, Dennis Dugan