John Cena to star in Transformers spin-off about Bumblebee in the 80s

July 31st 2017, 3:28pm

Last Updated on July 30, 2021

It seems WWE superstar John Cena has been cast in the new TRANSFORMERS spin-off film BUMBLEBEE, alongside the previously cast Hailee Steinfeld (TRUE GRIT). This is the first TRANSFORMERS spin-off, of which the studio hopes is the beginning of a Hasbro-cinematic universe. Don't worry, the world is not ending, you're safe. For now.

Anyway, according to The Hollywood Reporter, "the story is set in the year 1987, where Bumblebee finds refuge in a junkyard in a small California beach town. Charlie (Steinfeld), on the cusp of turning 18 and trying to find her place in the world, discovers Bumblebee, battle-scarred and broken. When Charlie revives him, she quickly learns this is no ordinary yellow VW bug."

Goddammit with all the fucking prequel time bullshit. I mean, Transformers not only existed in prehistoric times, but also fought alongside King Arthur, killed Hitler, and is the basis for all our technological achievements! I mean, couldn't the film be about Bumblebee dealing with life post-Sam Witwicky? I mean, why does he never mention or contact this person Steinfeld is playing if she (presumably) means so much to her in this one?

Honestly, besides Steinfeld (who I think is a great actress), the only thing that makes me think it might have a slight chance at working is the fact that KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS director Travis Knight is helming the project. You know, it might actually have a heart and not be misanthropic and fascistic trash! And don't get me wrong, I get that the TRANSFORMERS film have an audience, and that's cool (I'm not here to judge, I've seen BIRDEMIC 32 times and counting). But it would be nice to at least get a different perspective and tone on the franchise, nonetheless, if for no other reason than to stave off staleness.