Grab your Mountain Dew, a Call of Duty cinematic universe is on the way

April 5th 2017, 3:27pm

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

So. It's come to this. A fucking CALL OF DUTY cinematic universe. This really is the darkest timeline. Is the dialogue just going to be constant homophobic and racist epithets about banging my mom?

Now to be fair, the COD games do have stories, and they've even starred the likes of Kevin Spacey and Kit Harington. So while I'm obviously not that knowledgeable about all that, I'm more than willing to give the game the benefit of the doubt that you could make a good movie out of it. Hell, if it could happen with LEGO, it can happen with CALL OF DUTY as well, I have no doubts about that. I just have doubts about, again, a cinematic universe.

Here's what co-presidents of Activision Blizzard Studios, Stacey Sher and Nick van Dyk, had to say about all this in an interview with The Guardian. Sher began:

We have plotted out many years…We put together this group of writers to talk about where we were going. There’ll be a film that feels more like Black Ops, the story behind the story. The Modern Warfare series looks at what it’s like to fight a war with the eyes of the world on you. And then maybe something that is more of a hybrid, where you are looking at private, covert operations, while a public operation is going on.

And van Dyk added:

It’s going to have the same sort of high-adrenaline, high-energy aesthetic as the game, but it’s not a literal adaptation. It’s a much more broad and inclusive, global in scope … a big, tentpole Marvel-esque movie.

Yes, because COD has 50+ years of lore like Marvel does. Ugh.

Anyway, it's obvious how I feel about all this (though I'm more than willing to be proven wrong – I'd like more than two or three good videogame movies), but how do you Schmoes feel about all this CALL OF DUTY cinematic universe nonsense? Sound off below!