Awfully Good: Blood Feast

October 6th 2010, 9:19am

Not to be confused with our previous entry BLOOD FREAK, the anti-drug movie about mutant turkeys.

Blood Feast (1963)

Director: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Stars:Mal Arnold, William Kerwin, Connie Mason

Is there a plot?

An insane Egyptian caterer murders young women and collects their body parts in order to bring Ishtar, the ancient goddess of blood, back to life at a dinner party.

What’s the damage?

Released in 1963, BLOOD FEAST is considered by many to be the first gore or “splatter” movie ever made. And for that we salute it.

Lieutenant Dan’s hometown was not subtle when they heard the news.

However, this proves that good gore is really a skill that takes time to perfect. The blood here is unnaturally red like paint and doesn’t look that real, but thankfully there’s still plenty of it. And I’m pretty sure they used real animal organs, which is a nice touch. You get brains removed, eyes gouged, tongues ripped out (by hand, no less) and more.

[simultaneously] “Your turn to do the dishes.”

Everything else in the movie though is just utter awfully good garbage. You can see the actors looking off camera to read their lines. The script is bizarre; when the mom, who just discovered that a) her daughter was about to beheaded and b) the food at her dinner party is actually human meat, simply says, “Oh shucks, I guess we’ll have to have hamburgers for dinner tonight.” And then there’s the cops. My God, the cops. If you thought Hitchcock hated policemen, wait til you see BLOOD FEAST. The PoPo here are incredibly dumb to the point of unintentional satire. From overdramatically declaring “We don’t have any clues!” to solving the murders almost by coincidence, you’ll be amazed that this isn’t an early precursor to the POLICE ACADEMY series. My other favorite part is how the cops always yell at the victims. They tell a guy whose girlfriend was just brained in front of him to calm down and stop being a sissy. Then they bring in the hysterical mother and ask if her daughter was a tramp and maybe that’s why she was murdered. Amazing.

And thus the term “bloodshot eye” was born.

The other point of interest is the killer himself, an Egyptian caterer (yes, as in food caterer) named Mr. Ramses. (What, was Sir King Tut taken?) Ramses is played to overacting perfection by Mal Arnold, whose constant bug eyes, menacing stares, slow limp, creeper voice and obsession with blood let you know he’s evil. And in case there was any doubt, he likes to wring his hands together…evilly. You know, with his giant machete, the killer in BLOOD FEAST is kind of a precursor to Jason Voorhees, making this a very early slasher flick. There’s even some nudity and gratuitous skin thanks to two busty ladies who play with beach balls in the pool for no reason.

Sarah watches INCEPTION one too many times.

“Best” Line

You just walked in on your daughter nearly getting her head chopped off and then discovered the caterer was preparing to serve your friends. (Literally.) What do you say?

“Best” Parts

1) [SPOILERS] The killer gets his comeuppance in perhaps the most random place possible. BONUS: A super cheesy final line!

2) The killer gets a little tongue on the first date. Also, I love how the dead girl keeps opening and closing her mouth.

Nudity Watch

Ramses kills some girls during various stages of undress, which is nice. I also appreciated the random bikini volleyball game in the middle of the film.