This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it's time for another round of Movie Jail Updates, where we take a look at actors and filmmakers from previous trials, and based on new evidence, see if you think the defendants are still guilty or not guilty. Let's get right to it!
The Defendants
Since his 2012 trial, Ice Cube has only appeared in two live-action films: Ride Along and 22 Jump Street. Although Ride Along was panned by critics, both were big hits at the box office, and he also voiced a character in the positively reviewed animated movie The Book of Life. The actor helped produce Straight Outta Compton, which opened to high praise from critics and so far has grossed over $110 million, and the court feels part of the reason why the N.W.A. biopic has been such a success is because of his (as well as Dr. Dre and Eazy-E's widow's) involvement.
Owen Wilson was found not guilty in 2013, but since then, he's starred in Are You Here, Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb, and She's Funny That Way, and all three received low marks from critics. Sure, the actor also appeared in The Grand Budapest Hotel and Inherent Vice, however the court isn't happy with the amount of garbage films on his resume. Although the court doesn't think Mr. Wilson deserves a life sentence, he definitely should serve some jail time for his poor movie choices.
Vince Vaughn has stayed busy since being found guilty in 2012, but unfortunately, none of his post-trial movies (Unfinished Business, Delivery Man, The Internship) have done well critically or financially. So why is the court open to possibly releasing the actor? Two words: True Detective. While the second season of the HBO series wasn't as well-received as the first, it still featured a very strong performance by Mr. Vaughn. Has Mr. Vaughn earned a parole with his True Detective role, or should we keep him in prison because of his most recent films?
IN CLOSING…
What should we do with Ice Cube, Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn? Do you think Mr. Cube and Mr. Vaughn need to stay behind bars, or should we release them? Have you changed your mind about Mr. Wilson, or do you believe he still doesn't belong in Movie Jail?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Nick Swardson was found GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, and although the court has decided not to (as one jury member suggested) "shave his head and shoot him in the face," he has been locked up without the possibility of parole. Mr. Swardson will also be tossed in solitary confinement if it is discovered that he's been communicating with Adam Sandler. The last thing we need is for the two of them to come up with an idea for a prison-set comedy while incarcerated.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer, Akiva Goldsman, Avi Arad, Damon Lindelof, Hayden Christensen, Dennis Dugan, Sharon Stone, Jessica Biel, Nick Swardson
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes, Simon West, Len Wiseman, Brendan Fraser, Megan Fox, Neal McDonough, Cameron Crowe, Katie Holmes, Elijah Wood, Tarsem Singh, Reese Witherspoon, Burt Reynolds, Ed Helms
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock